A troubled heart.

                I happened to overhear a dialogue between two actors in a tele serial about people coming into our lives at different times; some who stay with us forever and some who leave after a while. People, I have heard, come into our lives for a reason. That I agree. But, it is the part where they leave us after they have served the reason, that is something I am unable to come to terms with.

              There was a time after I quit my job as a school teacher to be at home with my mother-in-law and my pet dog, that I was at my loneliest. Friends from college were not in contact as marriage and new lives had taken them to other parts of the country.. Colleagues from my school…well, colleagues can not be ‘friends’, is what I learnt while at work! And with no access to the internet, life was very empty!  But, then after quite a long time, in the last couple of years or so, I met a few old friends on the net and hit it off brilliantly with them. They enlivened my world! They added  colour and sparkle to my  dull life, and for that I am so grateful to them.
     
            But, the problem arises when these very people, whom you have grown very close to, part ways for some or other reason. That is when you can feel your world falling apart. Well, I did. I have been advised against investing emotions in relationships, but that is exactly my nature. Now that a couple of my friends have gone away, I find it hard to cope with it. I miss them so!  Letting go and moving on is the toughest thing I have had to deal with. And it is something I have failed at miserably!

         I need my friends. They are my life line. I get to be myself when with them. Interacting with them gives me immense happiness!  I have met a couple of wonderful people in the blogosphere who are now my friends. And all I can hope is for them to stay put and never go away. But, life is uncertain and you never know when someone close to you might leave you, never to return. And this feeling scares me no end.

       So, what do I do? Change my nature? Make myself stronger? Or, learn to let go and move on? I would really like to meet one person who has had no trouble or heartache letting go and moving on! As I age, I feel the need to hold my friends, my people, close to me. Treasure them, nurture our relationship. For, it is these very people who give me the strength to face life, pick myself up when I fall and cheer me up when  the sky is overcast.

       So, again, what DO i do? Any answers? 

NaBloPoMo November 2014

2 Replies to “A troubled heart.”

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