It took me a long while to realise this rule . Of course, better late than never, but I feel, that had I known this ultimate fact of life, I would have been a lot happier and livelier!
No one is in charge of your happiness, except you!
Don’t we always rely for our happiness on people? Don’t we hand over the reins of our happiness to people, who might or might not be able to fulfil our needs always? Yes, there will be many, who will argue that relying on children or spouses for happiness is so natural; they are the most important part of our life! True, they are. But, doesn’t there come a point in life, when our people get involved in their own lives, their work, and we are left stranded at home, alone? The loneliness, the despair we then face drives us insane, doesn’t it?
And, what do we do out of this desperation? We seek people, who, we think, will fill that gaping hole that was left behind by our loved ones. And, the cycle begins, all over again. Once the initial excitement fades off, those others, too, begin getting distant. And, where does that leave us?
Recently, a dear friend of mine gave some very valuable piece of advice. He suggested I set up goals; goals to work on my writing, perhaps. And then, work hard towards achieving those goals; labour tirelessly, with an enthusiasm I haven’t felt hitherto towards anything I have ever done. And then, the happiness that I will acquire when those goals have been achieved, will be so much more than the momentary joy that I acquired in the company of people.
Well, it did set me thinking. Life as a homemaker can be lonely. Very very lonely. Most of the time, the mind is idle. The chores, the kids, the spouse occupy a large part of our mind, true, but, once our duties towards them are fulfilled, our mind goes into ‘idle mode’, which makes it the proverbial devil’s workshop. And, then it strays into areas, which we should ideally stay away from. Or, we begin losing our confidence, our morale takes a huge blow because of our negative self-image. And, finally, we lose ourselves into a whirlpool of hopelessness. Gathering our wits together is the toughest of all, for we are all by ourselves, fighting a battle that our families can hardly fathom.
I consider myself lucky to have met this friend, who gave me such a precious advice, and that too, at a time when my morale was at an all time low. This 7 day blogging challenge is a result of that advice! I feel great when I survey my writing, read some wonderfully encouraging comments and realise that I am definitely getting better. My mind is busy thinking about the posts I need to work on, and the finesse that my writing could use. And, the happiness that I have been experiencing since some days now, well, it can’t be expressed in words!
I haven’t felt so good about myself in a long time. Oh, I know, my confessions will garner all sorts of opinions about me, but, I find myself way past worrying about anything. Because, I am happy. Unconditionally happy! The loneliness now feels like a blessing; that is the time when I can work on myself! The mind is too busy to entertain any frightful thoughts. And, all of this in turn has changed my relationship not only with myself, but also with my people. My happiness, has been the sole reason I have been able to spread more happiness all around! Isn’t that great?
If I had waited for someone to come over, put a smile on my face and make me feel loved and revered, I guess I would have only kept waiting! Who really has the time for anyone in today’s fast paced life? So, I believe, it has been a really good decision to take charge of my happiness. Expectations from others only lead to desperation and heart break. Lives only get ruined, you know?
Therefore, take charge, be happy for what you are, for what you have achieved for yourself. Do not wait for someone to bring joy into your life; that is your responsibility, towards yourself, towards your people.
Wear that big smile with aplomb. YOU deserve it!