Each one of us is on a journey that is far removed from the other’s. So, naturally, the lessons we glean from our experiences are going to be different, too. Our life brings us face to face with some truths – most of them bitter – and helps us grow. Initially, we do grumble about these bitter facts as we do when swallowing bitter pills for our ailments, but, eventually we learn to live with and accept these as part of life.
Here are some of the lessons I learnt over the years; lessons I took time to digest, but have realised are the ones that will help me along the way.
*Learn to love yourself.
It’s a fact we fail to realise that we are on this journey by ourselves. Our families, our partners, our friends are our co-passengers, who will be with us, but not always. So, learn to be independent – emotionally independent. It’s tough, no doubt, especially so for sentimental souls (like yours truly!) I have learnt this the hard way.
Each one has his own battles to fight. None will be your constant supporter. However much you yearn for someone to be by your side, at the end of the day it’s a lonely journey. So, learn to enjoy your company. Like Kareena Kapoor, in the movie, ‘Jab we met’ – be your favourite! You really won’t need anybody by your side if you enjoy being by yourself.
Stifling as it can be, solitude is one bitter pill to swallow, but once you do that, you won’t require any other medicine to help you feel better.
*Stand on your own feet.
Strive to be financially independent. I quit my job years ago to look after my family, but over the years I realised that however much you toil for our family, your efforts will be blatantly disregarded. The job of a homemaker, as we know, is a thankless job. However, the moment you become financial independent, your importance rises several notches. I am struggling to find means to support my self-respect, and I know I will find something soon, for sure. But, till then, my self-esteem won’t let me rest in peace.
So, find your niche, work on your hobbies and try to find ways to make those lucrative and then see for yourself the change in the world around you. I am doing it, and so can you!
*Make your health a priority.
We know not what the future holds for us, but we sure can take charge of our present, can’t we? Get off that couch, stop making excuses and quit being lazy. Go for a walk/jog, enrol at a Yoga class or hit the gym, ditch the elevator, take the stairs. Pay attention to what you feed your stomach and your brain. If you won’t give your body the respect it deserves, your body won’t bother caring about you!
Agreed that we know nothing about what could happen despite us taking good care of ourselves, but, we could at least try to save what we have!
Remember the proverb you learnt at school day in day out: “Health is wealth”? Being fit changes your outlook towards life, improves the way you appear (to yourself and to the world) and improves your morale. So, take care of yourself. Please do.
*Gather the women in your life.
This one’s for the women readers. We women place our men on a pedestal and sacrifice a whole lot for their happiness, only to find them forsaking us over time. Accept it, girls. Our husbands, our boyfriends will never be at our beck and call like they used to in the initial days of our relationship. They will never understand our varied problems, never ever read our mind or hear us or follow our point of view (okay, some might!) When age and its effects wreak havoc on our bodies, when our hormones turn us cranky, sentimental/emotional, the men will first find a way to get out of our way!
And, these are the times when only…only your women will be by your side, nodding their head in agreement to everything you say, lending you a shoulder to cry on and cursing the world along with you for all the injustice it has meted out to your lot.
The above words do sound contrasting to what I said earlier about being emotionally independent, but for those few ‘low moments’, it’s only our women who will understand what we go through. So, get together for a group huddle and assure each other that you are there for them. Words women say to each other at such times make a huge difference, as opposed to what men say. Agree?
Umm…so there you go!
These are some of the lessons I learnt (there are many more, but writing about every one of those will only lengthen my post no end!) And, there are many more, which I will learn with time! We all do, for life is one never-ending tutorial, isn’t it?
What have you learnt from your dear zindagi? Do share with me some of the enlightening information; maybe it will help me on my journey, someday!
Hugs to you for making it this far!