I have wanted to be Aladdin for quite a long time, now. Despite knowing that there are somethings far out of reach, are not destined to be mine, the countless human frailties render me desperate, driving me to seek precisely what I should ideally leave alone. The greed, the feeling that certain things are a necessity for my growth is what drives me insane when I fail to achieve the object of my desire.
My mother says, that things will happen if and when they are meant to. That, if something is destined to happen in your life, then it most definitely will. Be it a particular occupation you are keen on getting hired for, meeting the person you want to spend your life with, or even something trivial, like winning a race at your school,Sports day. She has always been cool as a cucumber, that woman. Don’t even ask me how she does it. Also, please don’t ask me how come I haven’t inherited those cool genes of hers, because I know not. I wonder why I didn’t!
Anyway, over the years, after having wasted a whole lot of stamina fretting over all the things that I couldn’t achieve, all the wishes I couldn’t fulfil, I have realised that what mother says is one of the Ten Commandments one needs to follow. For, it’s Madame Destiny who decides what’s good for you, what’s meant for you and when it’s meant to take place. Period.
There are people who don’t believe in destiny; people, who believe in writing their own destinies. My good sense tells me to leave the people be. It’s for mere mortals like yours truly for whom this post I write. Have you ever experienced how you wanted something very desperately? Like say, that job interview you had been preparing for in all earnestness? You prayed for the coveted position; in fact, you were almost certain it was yours, and yet, when the outcome of the interview was declared, you learnt you hadn’t made it. Despite everything – your hard work, your prayers – you didn’t make it.
Do you remember your state of mind then? For a period of at least a week or so, you were morose, dejected and hating the universe for what it had done to you. Let me tell you, I, too, have been through a similar state countless times. But, I came out of it. We all did. And, do you know why? Because, firstly, we resigned ourselves to the fact that it was not meant to be, and secondly, we realised that the vast universe has a countless opportunities in store for us, waiting to be toiled for, waiting to change our lives. And so, all we did was try one of those countless opportunities. So what if we were a tad bit late, behind the rest of the others? We did make it, didn’t we?
Since the past three days, I had been waiting for a mail that would tell me if I had succeeded at something I had been working at. I bit my nails restlessly and prayed for divine intervention. And, this morning, when I couldn’t take the torture anymore, I just said to myself, that if the damn thing had to work out, it very well WOULD! Else, I will simply try for something else. That’s it. Frankly, it means a lot to me – I am a homemaker, and haven’t been “bringing to the table” a single paisa since I quit my job to look after my family. And, yet, I just let it go – that yearning for things to happen, to brighten up my life – I just let it all go. I decided to wait and watch.
What was the worse that could happen, anyway? Nothing! My universe, I realised, has always been kind to me, caring and loving. It would never let me down, is what I knew. I did have my doubts, though. I always do. Still, I decided that the feeling of shame at not being an achiever, of being a loser will subside with time, till the next opportunity that will come knocking at my door one fine day. At least I will learn to be stronger. Which I so need to, by the way! And, if the feeling persists, mom is there to rescue me from this abyss and drill some sense into my head.
And, even as I was entertaining some good and some horrid thoughts, the mail arrived, putting my fears to rest! My joy knew no bounds! I thanked my universe profusely and ( imaginarily) boxed my ears. It’s been some time since I realised that my universe takes time to work up the miracle I have wanted; that it always tests my patience, my strength, in order to make me stronger, and in spite of this knowledge, I let myself go!? Stupid, moi?
Well, I have promised to be patient-er, henceforth, for I know everything will come in good time. For, what’s meant to be mine, will be, and what I am meant to achieve, I will! No two ways about it! And, whatever will be…will be! I ought to enjoy the journey, isn’t it? And, have faith. And, patience…oodles of patience!
How good are you are waiting for what you really want? Do you drive yourself nuts when things take a long time to happen? Or, are you the blessed one, like my mom, who knows that if it’s meant to be, it will? That whatever will be, will be? Do share with me…I would love to know!
Categories: Reflective Writing