Love – Lost and found.

 

Four months ago, I lost the love of my life, my pet dog, Chikoo. The heartache was unbearable. All the love that I was  used to, was gone, forever.  Dealing with his absence was exhausting.

Heartbreak, or loss of someone you have loved dearly, takes its toll on the heart.  It takes time to mend and get back to its sunny, cheery self again. I found it strenuous collecting the pieces of my broken heart and getting through  this alien phase. I knew for sure that I wouldn’t be bringing another pet to fill the void Chikoo left. How could I give his place to someone else? And, getting attached to another soul would mean going through the pangs of separation all over again.

My day would begin with remembering my dear departed pet, and end with his memories. There were times I would find myself caught in the tussle between my mind and my heart: should I bring home another pet? At least it would save me from feeling lonely. But,  what if I am not able to show them the love I did to Chikoo?

And, one day, out of the blue,  hubby brought home a parakeet.  A bird?!  I was astonished. Why? Oh, why, did he have to give in to his impulses? Why couldn’t he have conferred with me at least once before bringing home the bird? I was already  finding it difficult dealing with all the confusion, and now I had to deal with this new arrival!  He was finding it difficult to deal with the void Chikoo’s passing had left, and, so he got home this bird, was his reply.

A dog and a bird are as different as chalk and cheese. The dog being the cheese – gooey and soft, and oh, so lovely – and the bird being the chalk –  as emotionless as the piece of stationary. Or so I thought. Because, each time we tried to feed it, it would shrink away in fear, or try to peck at our fingers! I felt it may have had a traumatic experience with humans in the pet shop. Or, it may be in need of some  time to get adjusted to its new environment.

But, even after three months, the situation had not improved. I, too, had not tried to bond with him, or her. We couldn’t even make out its gender!  I did not want to get attached to anybody all over again. Everything I did for the bird, was done mechanically, without investing any emotions.

Until, I began ‘talking’ to it, it being the only other soul in the house all day. Not that I would have heart to heart conversations with it, but I would just say things to it to hear it respond, “Eh?”  It sounded cute. Moreover, I really don’t remember what had overtaken me.

And,  one fine day last week, as I sat beside its cage, reading a book, it hopped over from its little stool ( its cage is placed on a stool and the door of the cage is open for the bird to move about freely) to mine. I just watched silently, in surprise, as it then snuggled against my back, and went off to sleep! it was  seeking from me the warmth it had missed out on all these months!

In a matter of days, he had moved on to perching on my shoulders, nibbling at my neck or my ears and eating from my dinner plate. And, I had moved on from referring to the bird as “it”, to “he”. In short, the little birdie had found its mama, and I had found my Chikoo, all over again.

I remember this quote I read sometime ago:

“All the love that you give away, will one day find its way back to you!”

 

He loves to  lean on my shoulder and chat with me in ‘parakeetese’. We hold deep conversations, he and I. And, when he is tired and sleepy after all the activity he indulges in, he hops on to my lap,  nestles in my armpit and goes off to sleep. He is fond of all the stuff Chikoo was fond off. He, in fact, displays traits that were so typically Chikoo! I believe that my Chikoo is back. Maybe, his soul took three months to find its way to the bird, and that is why it took me three months to bond with the bird.

Silly, emotional me!

I am aware that this guy, too, will be gone some day. That’s what happens, isn’t it? People enter our life, touch our heart and move away when their time in our life is up. Saddening, but true. But, that’s okay. I am strengthening  my heart, making myself resilient to the changing nature of the world.

Oh, did I tell you, I call him, Cookie, which, at times, changes to Chikky, which was another name for Chikoo! And, so often, he doesn’t respond to, “Hey, Cookie…!”, but definitely does to, “Hey, Chikky…!”

 

Post co-authored by Cookie.

 

*Linking this post to Friday Reflections, at Write Tribe. 

The prompt for today was the 25th word on the 25th page of the book we are reading presently. And, the word I found was ‘found‘!

43 Replies to “Love – Lost and found.”

  1. Oh ! I loved the quote and the parakeet and your chikoo.I felt your pain and confusion.5 of my fishes died when they were being fish sitted by a relative.I was in Kashmir and I cried till my face was all swollen up.Long story short.Life and death are God’s will .We can be the best human friends these little animals and birds and fishes have.

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  2. I’m so happy you found your Cookie. It is indeed your Chikoo come back to be with you again. I love the retelling of this tale . May Cookie and you have many years of togetherness

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  3. Parakeetese! Now that is one language I want to learn. I really am happy that you have found a new pet of your life in the form of Cookie. I’m pretty sure Chikoo has played some part in bringing the two of you together, from his heavenly abode 🙂

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  4. So glad I stopped by for this post. So very glad. There’s so much warmth and love in here. I had no clue birds were actually capable of emotion. Maybe it’s just you – you bring it out in everyone. The pictures are adorable.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I, too, was unaware about it, Tulika, until my mum said that he will definitely bond some day. I just need to give him some time. And, have a little patience. I am glad I did and today he has bonded so well with me, hubby gets jealous at times for all the attention I get from Cookie! 😛

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  5. Oh this was so heart warming! Yes, dealing with loss is one of the most toughest times for the heart. Glad you bonded again with Cookie! Loved the cute pictures you shared!

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  6. Awww such an adorable post. So happy that Chikky has started bonding with you. He just needed some time to reciprocate all the love. Love how the relationship between the two of you has slowly grown… Beautiful 😍😍

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  7. Awww Shilpa. I finally got to reading this post after meaning to so many times. I am feeling all warm and fuzzy. This is the start of another love story between you and Cookie. I know that Chikoo will always be there in your heart, but I hope that Cookie will ease the pain and also provide you the joy and love that you so deserve. My younger son keeps asking about you and if you had got a dog again. Having his own pet and that too a Lab, he was very moved when he heard of Chikoo’s passing. I showed him these pictures of Cookie and he brightened up. Did I tell you that we used to have birds earlier? I must have. My sister had one for almost 5 year before the old guy passed. He was such a joy to watch and just like your Cookie showed a lot of affection. God bless both of you. May this bond thrive and grow.

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    1. Awww, Rachna, your little one is a sweetheart!
      Yes, I am glad I bonded with Cookie, who is so much like Chikoo. You know, this guy also loves a belly rub! Can you believe it? No sooner do I start tickling his belly, he lies on his side and enjoys the attention! Hehehe…he is definitely Chikoo, don’t you think? 😛
      Thank you for your lovely comment, sweetie!

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  8. Shilpa, I have never had a pet at home but can understand your pain.
    My friend has a Labrador , Neffy, at home. and whenever I go to their house I converse with Neffy in my mother-tongue and she perfectly understands me while my friend speaks another language. The canine understands the language of love.

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  9. I am emotional! We never had any pet after our pet dog died and hence I understand the feeling of not wanting to invest emotionally with a new pet.
    Reading this post sent me through various journeys evoking different emotions – Warmth, giggles, awwws and finally a little teary. I have no idea what it is like to have a bird for a pet but it sounds wonderful going by your account.

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    1. Yeah, it is wonderful now, after he bonded with me…and me alone. He doesn’t allow anyone else near him. So, that gives me a kick just thinking how I am now the ‘apple of his eyes’! Having said that, I do hold my emotions in check some times lest I get too very emotionally entangled in this guy as well. (I think I already am!) 🙂
      Thank you for your lovely comment, Anamika! ❤

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  10. O! This is such a heart warming post, Shilpa… I am so happy to know that love found its way back. And Chicky just knows how to get close to his mumma.. He is really adorable and so is the picture.

    Cheers

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  11. Shilpa, your Chikky is adorable. I started reading this post with a heavy heart but the weight kept on disappearing as I continued reading. Your loving heart is healed and Chikoo is with you again, what great news! Hope your bond stays strong and you both continue to enjoy each other’s company for a long time. I am still waiting for my Sparky’s loving presence to come backin my life.

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  12. This is such a magical post, Shilpa. I remember how you were when you lost Chikoo and to see how this little fellow has taken to you is wonderful. I wasn’t even aware birds behaved like this. It really is as though Chikoo found his way back home.

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