10 effective ways to conquer your 40s.

40 is a number many women fear, but also which many look forward to because turning 40 changes a lot of things for a woman.

Be it about health, relationships, work, attitude, opinions..everything undergoes a major change. And, it is this change that leaves some women worried, and some others longing to celebrate!

Around 6 years ago, when I turned 40, I did begin to notice minute changes in myself, especially regarding my body and mind.

Slowly and steadily, I began to lose certain inhibitions (as regards expressing feelings) and gain a better understanding of human nature. And now, at 46, I feel blessed for the maturity and the wisdom I gain each day!

Going through the highs and lows of life, learning from every pain, every wound through the years transforms us. It adds to our personality. And, this is what we start realizing only in our 40s.

A dear friend stated that she “Enjoys adding years!”  Well, you know what?  You, too, will enjoy adding the years once you step into your 40s! Just wait and watch.

So, I thought of doing this post on ‘Things to do when in your 40s‘ to help other women get over their anxiety about turning older.

I am jotting down some stuff that has started making sense to me; stuff that made me aware about Life and Her weird ways; stuff I need to learn about and inculcate in myself in order to stay sane through it all. And, no apologies for overusing the word, ‘stuff’! And, I hope you find this “stuff” helpful. 🙂

Metanoia, the wellness blogazine


1. BE UNAPOLOGETIC:  You will realize that living the past so many years wondering if you were hurting sentiments, or living as per others’ expectations has actually gotten you nowhere!

In fact, it’s taken a toll on your mental health and left you with a very low sense of confidence and self-respect.  So,  just speak what comes to your mind, irrespective of what others think. Not that you intend to hurt others’ feelings, but then, keeping things bottled up will only hurt you!


2. ACCEPT THAT SHIT HAPPENS: When you least expect it. And, the shitty phase can last for quite a while.

But, it all ends someday, for nothing is permanent. So, all you can–and should–do, is go with the flow, and never, ever, ask “WHY ME?” We never ask, “Why am I so happy?”, do we? Cliche, I know, but true!


3. TREASURE YOUR TRIBE: The ones who rally around in your time of crisis, the ones who know something’s wrong just by looking into your eyes or from the tone of your voice and pull you out of the abyss you find yourself in–treasure them. They are your guardian angels. And, they are who make your life beautiful.

Most often, it’s the women in your life that make up your tribe–your best friends, your sister, cousins, mother, aunts–the women who speak your language, understand your every emotion are the women that will be with you. Hold them close!


4. STOP TAKING YOURSELF FOR GRANTED: Know that YOU MATTER. Have faith in yourself. And, always remember that you can do it. Yes, you can! Also, be confident of yourself. You didn’t reach this far doing nothing, did you?



5. BE COMFORTABLE IN YOUR OWN SKIN: Everyone’s aging, honey. That’s Life! The fine lines that increase by the day, the silver in the hair, the aches in the joints, the mood swings. All of it. This is the stuff that makes you human!

Read 5 ways your body changes after 40.


6 CELEBRATE YOUR BEAUTY: You are beautiful inside out. Period. It’s what’s within that matters more and reflects on your face.

Be proud of the fact that the face that peeps at you from the mirror is 100% genuine, not one that’s been “worked upon”, you get me? And, smile. It adds to your face value. Smile and carry yourself confidently, coz you own it, girl!


FORM A NEW HABIT EVERY MONTH:  It takes around 21 days to form a habit. Kick a bad one and find a new one to develop that will enrich your life in some way.

Like, start reading if you haven’t been doing it, or found the time to do it. Learn a new hobby or a new language.

Learning something new keeps the brain young. It gives our brain a good workout, and apart from the physical workout, we do need a good mental workout, too, right?


8. GET OFF YOUR BUTT AND WALK:  DO NOT sit for long. Take a short ‘walking’ break every 45 minutes, especially if you work from home. Make fitness your everyday priority.

Take good care of your body, your mind, your skin, your hair – take good care of YOU. Stay well-groomed, well-dressed and well-read! It makes loads of difference to your morale.


9. PUT AWAY YOUR PHONE AND TURN OFF THE TV: Spend lesser time on social media and reduce your TV viewing. Spend more time in the real world to find true peace of mind.

Both these gadgets take away a lot of our precious time and energy–physical as well as mental. Instead, as I stated above, find a new hobby, or an activity or even an NGO to work at. It gives the heart a lot of peace and happiness, which reflects on your face!


10. LEARN TO ENJOY YOUR OWN COMPANY:  As we grow older, so do our children and our relationships.

People drift away, friends become busy, kids and partners also get busy with their own lives. But, that doesn’t mean you live a miserable life, alone. As stifling as that may seem, at times, spending some alone time is better than depending upon others for your happiness.

Go watch a movie alone, or go for lunch/dinner alone, or even a solo trip. It’s liberating and invigorating knowing how much you can enjoy this way!



Age is just a number. You are only as old as you think and feel. So, why not feel young at heart and celebrate the maturity that comes with age?

Take baby steps, initially, and slowly but surely, you will realize how blessed it is to be on the other side of 40. Life, indeed, begins after 40!


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Published by shilpagupte

Do you know the secret to living a happy life? Eat. Pray. Love. Or, watch what you eat, wish well for all and fill your heart with love! That's precisely what I try to do through my blogs: 'Metanoia', the wellness blogazine, and 'Fictionista', my blog for fiction and non-fiction. Welcome to my virtual homes!

44 thoughts on “10 effective ways to conquer your 40s.

  1. I was nodding with every point you made with utter seriousness until I reached point 9. For introverts who are also bloggers, social media, the virtual world is more of the world with real friends.
    One tip from a funny dear friend, who is as old as you or you are as young as her 😛 there is absolutely no need to seek excuse of being in perimenopausal phase to say you forgot. Just say ‘Ooops’ and end 🙂

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh yes, Anu! For introverts like us, the social media is a getaway, with virtual friends who are an important part of our Life. But, of late, I yearn to communicate with people in the real world, connect with them. But, uff….not happening! Guess, I should go back to the social media! 😛

      And, thank you for the tip! “OOPS” it will be! 😛


  2. Loved your pointers Shilpa, especially the first one, it resonated with me. I didnt realize how always tailoring my words and actions to not hurt others was suffocating me. I have been practicing it and it feels so free!

    I hope to reach that mindset where I enjoy adding years. I find myself dreading every birthday! 😐

    Wish you more wonderful years ahead.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have stopped dreading my birthdays, Sampada. It feels good to age, coz age brings along with it the much-needed wisdom to face Life!

      Apologies for the very late reply! ❤


  3. congrats, Shilpa! I can relate with all that you write because someday you reach there and think about it all. Unfortunately, we always take ourselves for granted. We need to realize that we all have flipside and still each of us is “useful” and beautiful as an individual. Unfortunately, our society doesn’t work on this philosophy.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You don’t have to say sorry, Shilpa. Life gets us… all! sometime or the other! I understand.

        Well, the way things are progressing, in a few years time we might ignore the traditional set up of society because the trend is towards individualism and casualness in general. The formal barriers and ties are breaking down. ….It’s a matter of few years!

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Belated happy wala budday Shilpa. Sometimes I am worried by age and does feel strange but after reading this amazing post filled with learning, makes me feel better. True, we must speak the mind and treasure the special ones…comfort in the skin. You are forever young and a motivator for life.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Cheers to the Badass forties club Shilpz – loved your take on life in this post. I too have stumbled onto such epiphanies and have come to love my forties as I feel I am more sorted, know what I dont want and have no tolerance for bullshit.

    Good you kicked off the being apologetic thingy and are more in love with yourself – flaws, cellulite and moodswings included!!

    More power to you and keep swinging ahead woman!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love the way you put it, Shalz! That care-a-damn attitude of yours is quite contagious. Each time I read your post or your comments, I feel so motivated to turn myself around! I am taking baby steps towards the change I wish to see…let’s see how long it takes me to reach my goal!

      Thanks doll, and apologies for replying so late! ❤

      Liked by 1 person

  6. The best thing about age is, it puts life in perspective. we spend half our lives worrying about other people, what they think, what they feel, what they say. And in the end our life doesn’t remain our own. Congratulations on having arrived at this point in your life – when people stop mattering, except the few close to you. You ARE a beautiful person Shilpa. Lots of love and hugs for your birthday.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. True, Tulika! We spend so much time worrying about what people think, when in reality, people have no time at all to think about us. They have their own stuff to worry about. But, alas, we realise this fact pretty late. Thank god we age!! 🙂

      Thank you so much, dearie, and extremely sorry for replying so late! ❤


  7. Happy Birthday again Shilpa. Love your points 1 and 2. I am trying my best to be 1. Point 2 I can handle as I see crazy changes to my normal routine everyday. Its a bit stressful, but I have stopped stressing myself. To add to your points which I totally agree with, I think the most important is Point 4. Once we stop taking ourselves for granted and stop being a doormat for everyone to walkover, the other points will align. Like you said, I realised this post crossing 40.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We always realise things late! But that’s how age works! Yes, not allowing others to treat us like a doormat will help us get our way, but doing that in the first place can be quite tough, for us and our conscience! 😛 Yet, try we must to bring about a change in ourselves, isn’t it?

      Thank you so much, Lata! And, apologies for the late reply! ❤


  8. I loved this post, Shilpa. I can say I agree with all your points as if they were my own. They are. I’ve been through so much over the course of my life that wisdom just had to happen in direct proportion to all the greys that I acquired over time and one of them is never to worry about age. We are as old as we feel and so the next best thing is to live as unapologetically as we truly are, happy in our skin and embracing all our flaws! Those who love us will do anyway. and those who don’t, well they were never worth it, right?

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I would have loved to read 45 things. I agree when you say stop being apologetic..yes we women always think it is our fault and keep apologising..and yes shit happens..and we need to learn to deal with shit.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Happy birthday again, Shilpa.

    As we grow older, we learn that the things that truly matter are how we feel about ourselves, the ones who care about us and what keeps us content. Lovely lessons, each of them and I wish you all the love in the world to always be this smiling, compassionate, wonderful human being you are. I sincerely hope we get to meet one day because I just know that we’d enjoy it to the hilt 🙂

    Liked by 2 people

  11. How wise you have become, Shilpa! 😛 I was nodding my head at every point. I totally get you when you say that we have to pay attention to our own needs and wants. 40s have been a period of revelation for me. For me the focus is on the kids as each gets into an important phase of life, work due to a new venture, health and fitness as life needs more attention to these, doing things that I enjoy as I come into my own.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hehehe..Rachna!!! 😛
      Yeah, age does that to you, hai na? It makes you wise and instils in you some sense that had been lacking for so long!
      Thank you so much, dear girl! And, extremely sorry for the late reply! ❤


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