Life at 45.

Life at 45.

Last week, I celebrated my 45th birthday. It feels strange–this realisation that I completed 45 years, considering I don’t feel 45. In a few years’ time (if I happen to stick around that long) I will be 50! Find that hard to believe, too.

However, it does feel wonderful being 45, thanks to the maturity and the wisdom that come along with it! Going through the highs and lows of Life, learning from every pain, every wound through the years transforms us. It adds to our personality. A dear friend stated that she “Enjoys adding years!”

Well, so do I!

I thought of doing a post titled, ’45 things I learned at 45′, or something of the sort, but listing 45 things felt tedious. And, it would have made too long a list for anyone to read! So, I am just jotting down stuff that has started making sense to me; stuff that made me aware about Life and Her weird ways; stuff I need to learn about and inculcate in myself in order to stay sane through it all. No apologies for overusing the word, ‘stuff’.

1. That’s number one on my to-do list– BEING UNAPOLOGETIC. I realised that living the past so many years wondering if I was hurting sentiments, or living as per others’ expectations had gotten me nowhere, so it’s high time I changed! I need to speak what comes to my mind, irrespective of what others think. Not that I intend to hurt others’ feelings, but then, things staying bottled up hurts me more!

2. Shit happens. When you least expect it. And, the shitty phase can last for quite a while.

But, it all ends some day, for nothing is permanent. So, all you can–and should–do, is go with the flow, and never, ever, ask “WHY ME?” We never ask, “Why am I so happy?”, do we? Cliche, I know, but true!

3. Treasure people. Your tribe–the ones who rally around in your time of crisis, the ones who know something’s wrong just by looking into your eyes or from the tone of your voice and pull you out of the abyss you find yourself in–treasure them. They are your guardian angels. And, they are who make your Life beautiful.

And, please, please, share your troubles, your anxieties, your fears with them. Or, listen to what they have to say when they are in need. You never know what a patient ear and a shoulder to lean on can do. Well, it sure can save a Life!

4. Stop taking yourself for granted. YOU MATTER. Period. And, have faith in yourself. Remember that line from Tumhari Sulu– “Main kar sakti hai.”? You, too, can do it. Yes, you can!

5. Learn to be comfortable in your own skin. Everyone’s ageing, honey. That’s Life! The fine lines that increase by the day, the silver in the hair, the aches in the joints, the mood swings. All of it. This is the stuff that makes you human!

6..Remember one thing, and remember it always: You are beautiful inside out. For it’s what’s within that matters more and reflects on your face. Be proud of the fact that the face that peeps at you from the mirror is 100% genuine, not one that’s been “worked upon”, you get me? And, smile. It adds to your face value. Another cliche, eh?

7. It takes around 21 days to form a habit. Kick a bad one and find a new one to develop that will enrich your Life in some way.

8. Get off your butt, walk around. DO NOT sit for long. Take a short ‘walking’ break every 45 minutes.

9. Put the darn phone away. Spend lesser time on social media (read, virtual world), and more time in the real world to find true peace of mind. Unless you are a blogger, of course! šŸ˜›

10. Learn to enjoy your own company. As stifling as that may seem, at times, it’s better than depending upon others for your happiness.

That’s all for now. These are just some of the things I keep reminding myself to practice every day, to the best of my ability. I do forget stuff, but then, it comes with the ‘territory’ – I am perimenopausal!

If you’d you like to add to this list, go right ahead!

Love,

SHILPA…

How toDIY Your Whole Wedding (1)

44 thoughts on “Life at 45.

  1. I was nodding with every point you made with utter seriousness until I reached point 9. For introverts who are also bloggers, social media, the virtual world is more of the world with real friends.
    One tip from a funny dear friend, who is as old as you or you are as young as her šŸ˜› there is absolutely no need to seek excuse of being in perimenopausal phase to say you forgot. Just say ‘Ooops’ and end šŸ™‚

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh yes, Anu! For introverts like us, the social media is a getaway, with virtual friends who are an important part of our Life. But, of late, I yearn to communicate with people in the real world, connect with them. But, uff….not happening! Guess, I should go back to the social media! šŸ˜›

      And, thank you for the tip! “OOPS” it will be! šŸ˜›

      Like

  2. Loved your pointers Shilpa, especially the first one, it resonated with me. I didnt realize how always tailoring my words and actions to not hurt others was suffocating me. I have been practicing it and it feels so free!

    I hope to reach that mindset where I enjoy adding years. I find myself dreading every birthday! šŸ˜

    Wish you more wonderful years ahead.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I have stopped dreading my birthdays, Sampada. It feels good to age, coz age brings along with it the much-needed wisdom to face Life!

      Apologies for the very late reply! ā¤

      Like

  3. congrats, Shilpa! I can relate with all that you write because someday you reach there and think about it all. Unfortunately, we always take ourselves for granted. We need to realize that we all have flipside and still each of us is “useful” and beautiful as an individual. Unfortunately, our society doesn’t work on this philosophy.

    Liked by 1 person

      1. You don’t have to say sorry, Shilpa. Life gets us… all! sometime or the other! I understand.

        Well, the way things are progressing, in a few years time we might ignore the traditional set up of society because the trend is towards individualism and casualness in general. The formal barriers and ties are breaking down. ….It’s a matter of few years!

        Liked by 1 person

  4. Belated happy wala budday Shilpa. Sometimes I am worried by age and does feel strange but after reading this amazing post filled with learning, makes me feel better. True, we must speak the mind and treasure the special ones…comfort in the skin. You are forever young and a motivator for life.

    Liked by 1 person

  5. Cheers to the Badass forties club Shilpz – loved your take on life in this post. I too have stumbled onto such epiphanies and have come to love my forties as I feel I am more sorted, know what I dont want and have no tolerance for bullshit.

    Good you kicked off the being apologetic thingy and are more in love with yourself – flaws, cellulite and moodswings included!!

    More power to you and keep swinging ahead woman!

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I love the way you put it, Shalz! That care-a-damn attitude of yours is quite contagious. Each time I read your post or your comments, I feel so motivated to turn myself around! I am taking baby steps towards the change I wish to see…let’s see how long it takes me to reach my goal!

      Thanks doll, and apologies for replying so late! ā¤

      Liked by 1 person

  6. The best thing about age is, it puts life in perspective. we spend half our lives worrying about other people, what they think, what they feel, what they say. And in the end our life doesn’t remain our own. Congratulations on having arrived at this point in your life – when people stop mattering, except the few close to you. You ARE a beautiful person Shilpa. Lots of love and hugs for your birthday.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. True, Tulika! We spend so much time worrying about what people think, when in reality, people have no time at all to think about us. They have their own stuff to worry about. But, alas, we realise this fact pretty late. Thank god we age!! šŸ™‚

      Thank you so much, dearie, and extremely sorry for replying so late! ā¤

      Like

  7. Happy Birthday again Shilpa. Love your points 1 and 2. I am trying my best to be 1. Point 2 I can handle as I see crazy changes to my normal routine everyday. Its a bit stressful, but I have stopped stressing myself. To add to your points which I totally agree with, I think the most important is Point 4. Once we stop taking ourselves for granted and stop being a doormat for everyone to walkover, the other points will align. Like you said, I realised this post crossing 40.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. We always realise things late! But that’s how age works! Yes, not allowing others to treat us like a doormat will help us get our way, but doing that in the first place can be quite tough, for us and our conscience! šŸ˜› Yet, try we must to bring about a change in ourselves, isn’t it?

      Thank you so much, Lata! And, apologies for the late reply! ā¤

      Like

  8. I loved this post, Shilpa. I can say I agree with all your points as if they were my own. They are. I’ve been through so much over the course of my life that wisdom just had to happen in direct proportion to all the greys that I acquired over time and one of them is never to worry about age. We are as old as we feel and so the next best thing is to live as unapologetically as we truly are, happy in our skin and embracing all our flaws! Those who love us will do anyway. and those who don’t, well they were never worth it, right?

    Liked by 1 person

  9. I would have loved to read 45 things. I agree when you say stop being apologetic..yes we women always think it is our fault and keep apologising..and yes shit happens..and we need to learn to deal with shit.

    Liked by 1 person

  10. Happy birthday again, Shilpa.

    As we grow older, we learn that the things that truly matter are how we feel about ourselves, the ones who care about us and what keeps us content. Lovely lessons, each of them and I wish you all the love in the world to always be this smiling, compassionate, wonderful human being you are. I sincerely hope we get to meet one day because I just know that we’d enjoy it to the hilt šŸ™‚

    Liked by 2 people

  11. How wise you have become, Shilpa! šŸ˜› I was nodding my head at every point. I totally get you when you say that we have to pay attention to our own needs and wants. 40s have been a period of revelation for me. For me the focus is on the kids as each gets into an important phase of life, work due to a new venture, health and fitness as life needs more attention to these, doing things that I enjoy as I come into my own.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hehehe..Rachna!!! šŸ˜›
      Yeah, age does that to you, hai na? It makes you wise and instils in you some sense that had been lacking for so long!
      Thank you so much, dear girl! And, extremely sorry for the late reply! ā¤

      Like

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