This is one of the most essential things to do, especially if you are a loner, like yours truly!
Being an introvert, I preferred keeping things to myself–my anxieties, fears, my thoughts–all of it. Until last year, when I realised how important it is to reach out to those who know me, who care about me and who have only my best interests at heart.
it did bother me that I would be burdening others with my worries, but a cousin gave me quite an earful about how it was necessary that they know what I am going through, for they were MY PEOPLE!
People who would keep aside their worries when you need a shoulder to lean on belong to ‘OUR TRIBE’.
And, it is this tribe that we need to connect with, reach out to, share stuff with, because they understand.
Ladies, to be frank, it’s only your girl friends who will truly LISTEN to you, UNDERSTAND you and make your troubles theirs. Am I right, or am I right??
If you are suffering from the dreaded PMS related stress/anxiety/fear, or feeling low and lonely, and you speak about it to your partner (read, husband/boyfriend), you can only imagine the response you will get.
But, if you share the same things with your girl friends/sisters/mother/aunt, they will just gather you in a tight hug, and let you cry your heart out/complain/rant, and help cheer you up, sometimes by saying nothing at all! Isn’t it?
This the reason you need to CONNECT WITH YOUR TRIBE!
I made it a goal for 2019, where I decided upon days of the week when I would call up my girl friends/cousins and talk…just talk. Having deep, meaningful conversations with these women lifts my spirits, cheers me up, lessens my anxieties and drives away my scary thoughts.
These women live in different cities and countries and there’s no way I can meet them in person on a regular basis. So, I put my phone to good use instead of mindlessly scrolling through social media.
I came across this quote which I am sure you will relate to:
“I have come to realise that the only people I need in my life are the ones who need me in theirs even when I have nothing else to offer them but myself.”
Don’t you agree?
So, reach out….
Connect with your tribe, with those closest to you, with whom you are comfortable, and who, you know, can save you from any situation you might find yourself in.
Just go ahead and call them/write to them/meet them. But, do it regularly. And, be there when they need you. That’s what will cement your relationship!
Much love,
SHILPA…
I am participating in the April A to Z Blogging Challenge and my theme this year is ‘SELF-CARE’.
You will find all the posts here.
I should! Currently I am in touch with these beautiful souls that brighten up my life only through WhatsApp. Maybe in a few years when all our children have grown up a bit or we have bridged the time differences we will talk on phones or meet over a cup of tea.
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Amazing Challenge
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Beautiful post Shilpa, I am so much like you on a few given days. Friends are a lifeline, but again instead of having a crowd just those who really matters are enough.
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So so true. Important as we grow older to have that tribe with us when needed. It whittles down from hundreds on Facebook to barely 3 in real life. But those 3 can make all the difference.
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I am totally with you on this one. Girlfriends are truly the best though I have some really close male friends too. But the important point is to reach out to people who care about you and share what is going on in your life.
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“I have come to realise that the only people I need in my life are the ones who need me in theirs even when I have nothing else to offer them but myself.”
Yes, yes, a thousand times yes! Nothing like a lunch date with my girls for me to unwind and forget the pressures of the world. It is very important to have the right set of people in our lives. I know a lot of people, but I have a very small set of friends. People who know me and love me for the way I am. That’s my tribe!
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Yupp. I am an introvert too. Don’t really open up with people easily about my problems. But I started learning this valuable lesson at BAR actually. That’s why I stuck around in that group even when I was not blogging. I like how members can share just about everything there, and everyone is so supportive.
Find my post for today @ How to Create Amazing Content to Grow Your Business? The Simplest 5-Key Content Creation Strategy
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We all need our own tribe to sustain. Being the introverted and loner kinds, it is even more important to us to have atleast a handful of friends who are always there to hear us patiently and in a non-judgemental way. Sometimes just talking (writing for me) our thoughts with them gives us the required clarity even if they have just hear and not say anything. I am lucky to have a tribe.
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I am an introvert myself. Ever since I started writing, I’ve become all the more unsocial. I avoid meeting people unless I really need to and prefer texting over calls. And I know it’s not a healthy way of living. Of late when I saw my son emulate the same characteristics by refusing to socialize, I realized that it was time to set up the right examples.
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I, too, became unsocial since I began writing. I liked my world where I would stay cooped up and feeling comfy. But, I am glad my cousin urged me to get out and talk to people in the real world, too. Makes a lot of difference, you know.
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Friends are the best. I am lucky to have both girl and boy friends in my life whom I’ve known for decades. And yes, I can talk to both about just about anything on earth. No gender bias! Very true that we must focus on those who love us and want us. Makes life very fulfilling!
By the way, I like your pins, Shilpa! Hugs!
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Lucky you, Vidya! I can only talk to my girls freely….and that’s okay too. At least someone’s there with whom I can share my feelings.
Thanks, Vidya! Hugs!
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Lots of wisdom here. I must put it into practice more often. Thanks, Shilpa.
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Thank you, Jemima!
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I’m so thankful for my tribe. There is no way I’d be able to keep going without them. I’m always amazed at the kindness of people. It’s very humbling. Clear the Clutter to Avoid Burnout
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Me neither! I so need my tribe to unburden my woes!
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So true. Connecting to people who care really helps ease the burdens we are carrying alone. Thanks for the reminder.
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That’s right, Mayuri. And, it makes one fortunate if one finds one’s tribe soon in Life! 🙂
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I absolutely agree with you on this. It’s important to find our tribe and then put in the effort to connect and support one another. We all need each other, both to share laughter and tears.
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Yes, for the laughter and the tears, who else but our tribe by our side!
Thank you for visiting, Deborah! 🙂
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I am also an introvert. Of course I am. You don’t think the extroverts of the world are over here BLOGGING, surely? They’re out there doing the public speaking and keeping the brick and mortar stores open.
It is important, though, even as an introvert, not to isolate yourself. To find your tribe, as you say, and to share with them, support them, and be supported by them.
The only thing I don’t agree with, here, is that out “tribe,” being women, is just other women. When I had breast cancer, I found support among family, friends, colleagues, and other bloggers – but I’d say that at least half of the MOST supportive, kind, and funny members of my tribe were men, and one of the most striking comments I got from them was thanks for helping them know how to talk to the women in their lives who were going through similar things. What to say?? They were so afraid of saying the WRONG thing that they often said nothing at all – and to me, that was really the only “wrong” thing. To avoid talking altogether. That my blog helped open the door to communication between them and the women in their own families and close circle of friends meant a lot to me.
We need more human connection, and I think “personality fit” is more important than gender or other superficial characteristics. We just sort of naturally “click” with some people more than with others, and that’s our “tribe.”
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Ah, well, what can I say? You have been lucky to have men who ‘listen’ and share so openly. The ones I know only listen to give advice–which is often not needed. So, from my experience I have learned that that’s how men are wired. I may be wrong, I am sure, and would be glad to meet someone who truly listens when I just wish to unburden my worries. 😛
So, this is the reason I turn to the women in my life, Holly. They offer me their shoulder to cry on, they do not offer me any unsolicited advice and they can so relate to what I have to say! And, these are the women who make up my tribe.
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Oh, many men are “wired” that way. But I think it’s culture and upbringing and education – or lack of education, means, and experience of the wider world. You’re not wrong, but neither of us have met “all men.” I HAVE been lucky. (Or lucky enough to have the luxury of simply ignoring the kind who only want to impress you with their “superior male intelligence.”) I didn’t have many female friends until I was in my 30s. Women are, too often, other women’s worst enemies (or maybe, second worst, after being their own worst enemies!) You see? YOU have been lucky to have good women friends! 🙂 I have since found many of those, as well, but again, it’s not about gender – it’s about personality and shared interests and both similar and interestingly diverse life experiences. (Similar enough to have common ground; different enough to have lots to talk about!)
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Rightly said, Holly! 🙂
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Some challenging times made me realize about the importance of people who will root for you, give you energy when you are down or simply stand next to you. Having your tribe is so important for our mental well-being.
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It’s the challenging times that end up teaching us so much, isn’t it? It’s precisely when I too learned this lesson. 🙂
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One of the lessons I hard a hard time learning was that the people in my life really do want to know what’s going on, and they really do want to help. My instinct is to keep my problems to myself, because I don’t want to burden the people around me. But honestly, that just makes people worry more and start imagining that things are far worse than they really are.
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That’s been my story for so long!
But, I am glad I changed my mind and now connect more and share more with my people.
Thank you for sharing your story! 🙂
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Thank you for sharing yours! Best of luck with A to Z this year!
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