How do you look after YOURSELF?


As I go through my ‘A to Z of Self-Care’ posts, I wonder what message I am trying to send out. Self-care is an important topic today and everyone seems to be talking about how we need to shift the focus to ourselves, fulfil our needs, give ourselves the importance we so deserve. But, is it making us selfish, self-centered, narcissistic?

I remember, when I was to get married, mum took me aside and gently advised me to put my family and their needs before myself; my feelings, my moods were to be put aside, in a corner, and my family was to be showered with unconditional love and importance.

I did it. I followed my mum’s advice and did just what she told me to. And, as much as I feel good about it, I feel I lost myself, somewhere along the way. Well, my mum, too, lost herself somewhere along the way.


Today, as much as I tell mum to shine the spotlight on her, I know how impossible it is for her to do so; how impossible it is for scores of women to do so.

Looking after ourselves, fulfilling our wishes, looking after our health, caring for our feelings is all a huge part of self-care–something we haven’t been conditioned to do. Precisely why we need to begin doing so, now!

So, no, self-care does not mean being selfish or self-centered, but just loving ourselves, unconditionally, and giving ourselves the importance and the respect we deserve.

No, we aren’t being narcissistic; we are only trying to shift the focus to ourselves–the way we need to.

And, no, it does not mean we are ignoring the needs of others. It means, we care for ourselves as much as we care for the world around us, because we matter, too.


In the span of 24 hours, if you can set aside even half an hour for yourself, consider it ‘self-care’–something you did just for yourself, your happiness.

Whatever it is–pursuing a hobby, pampering yourself, looking after your health, giving yourself a pep-talk, de-cluttering your mind of negative thoughts, getting rid of anything that’s toxic, showering yourself with compliments–if it’s something that makes you feel good about yourself, just do it, and feel the difference.

And, when you notice the difference, make a mental note about how happy it made you feel–happy and content–and I am sure you will get into the habit!


Go, look after yourself, girls!


Lots of love,




I am participating in the April A to Z Blogging Challenge, and my theme is, ‘SELF-CARE’. You will find all the A to Z posts here


Published by shilpagupte

Do you know the secret to living a happy life? Eat. Pray. Love. Or, watch what you eat, wish well for all and fill your heart with love! That's precisely what I try to do through my blogs: 'Metanoia', the wellness blogazine, and 'Fictionista', my blog for fiction and non-fiction. Welcome to my virtual homes!

10 thoughts on “How do you look after YOURSELF?

  1. The society conditions us to think that it is our responsibility to put family first else we are considered as selfish. That’s why self care is not a prevailing practice here. In fact we feel guilty when we chose to put ourselves first. Your posts are a beautiful way of reminding everyone that I need to take care of myself first to be in a position to take care of others. A beautiful series Shilpa. I thoroughly enjoyed reading them. Will catch up on the unread ones soon.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Every time we think about ourselves, it makes us guilty. Even if it’s something as simple as going for a walk. All that’s on our mind is, “the kids might get hungry, the spouse will wonder where we are”, and so on…Not one moment do we enjoy that walk. It’s simple things as these that we must learn to do for ourselves, learn to do without the feeling of guilt. We are just looking after ourselves, aren’t we?

      Thank you for visiting me, Sonia…all through this challenge! Will catch up on your posts, too. 🙂


  2. This is such a valid post. I’m glad times they are changin’ and slowly put surely we are learning to put ourselves first, so that we are better equipped to look after others.
    No wonder even on a flight instructions are given advising us to wear the oxygen mask first before we put it on for our loved ones.

    Thanks for the self care reminder, though I have been mostly diligent with it, more so recently.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. Your sharing the story of your mother of putting the family first before self echoes the sentiments I have observed while growing up when my mother did the same ( and continues to do the same even when she is exhausted or simply doesn’t want to) and her efforts were unappreciated and ignored. It became an unsaid expectation from her. I can only imagine how claustrophobic she must have felt throughout her life. Many a times, devoting half-an-hour a day for self care is not enough. One should be free to take a break from anything and everything if one doesn’t feel like.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. That’s just the story of my mother, Anu. And, now at her age, however much I try to make her see sense in letting go of certain things, she can’t. The guilt is always looming over her head that if she did not take care of others, who will? I have tried telling her that if she doesn’t take care of herself, either, who will?


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