Motherhood

Some years ago an incident took place, which I haven’t been able to forget, till date. I was out one evening, walking my pet dog, when a woman residing in  my building met me for the first time, and the following conversation, or should I say interrogation, ensued..
   SHE : Is it your dog?
   I      : Yes.
    SHE : Why do you have a dog?
   I  : Because I like dogs.
  SHE : Don’t you have any children?
   I : No.
  SHE : Why ?
   I kept silent.
   SHE : Do you have a dog because you don’t have children?
 I was agitated and had no intentions to answer her questions so, I just mumbled something and walked away. Now, this woman didn’t even know my name, but, she wanted to know the reason why I didn’t have children! Being a stranger, she should have had the courtesy to simply ask me my name. And she being a stranger, I did not want to disclose any personal matters to her. But, what is it about a woman without a child, that arouses curiosity in people? Does the absence of a child make the woman different or incomplete? And why can’t people accept that there might be certain reasons behind such decisions, that is, reason why the woman is ‘ not a mother’? Why don’t people just leave us alone instead of badgering us with all sorts of questions?
    Agreed, that having a baby, or rather, creating a human being in her womb and bringing it safely into this world is a blessing bestowed by our creator on the woman. Agreed, that it is a privilege for the woman to be a part of this miracle called ‘child birth’, but, does not being able to use that privilege make her less of a woman? That is how it is perceived in our society So, If I look at myself from society’s point of view, I am not a complete woman, is that so? Am I a disgrace to my creator because I have not made use of His special blessing to me? I don’t think so.  I think , and know, that I, and many women like me, have made the right decision. We may not have brought a human being into this world, but, we did save a human being from leading a life of misery and pain had it been born in spite of the health risks involved. And doesn’t a mother do her best to protect her child from adversity? So, doesn’t that make us much more loving mothers?
    I do have a child, though-my pet dog, And he may not be born in my womb, but, he grew in my heart! I have brought him up well. I shower him with my maternal instincts and love him unconditionally. I look after his health and understand his moods and his needs perfectly well. And I just read that ” being a MOTHER doesn’t mean being related to someone by blood. It means loving someone unconditionally and with your whole heart”!  So, we – I speak on behalf of all the women in a similar situation- may not have used our ‘ privileges ‘ ,but, we have surely used our hearts in a way He wanted us to, thus making Him proud of his creations!
    Every woman on earth is a mother, making use of her blessing and special privileges. She showers a child with her endless love and affection. The child may not belong to the human race, or may not be born to her, but, that does not make her less of a ‘mother’. And, I think, this is what the world needs to understand and appreciate.

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My weighty issues.

  A few weeks ago I met an old friend after nearly two decades. The first thing she said on meeting me was, ” You look just the same even after twenty years!!” For those who don’t know me, well, I weigh the same that I used to twenty years ago.
  Now, there is a section of the population who would love to swap places- or weights- with me. But, I started counting my blessings and thanking my lucky stars only recently. I have been through the entire gamut of negative emotions ranging from jealousy to hatred to an inferiority complex to depression and to any other there might be there. I was told not to worry, that I would surely put on weight and look ‘better’ once I got married. The magic of marital bliss would bring a glow to my ‘sunken’ face. But, even after several years of my marriage I was just the same. My doting husband ,who was imagined by some to thrash me if an extra morsel entered my mouth, would buy all the hunger inducing tonics and ‘ magic potions’ that he could lay his hands on in the hope that there would be a miracle. But the needle on the weighing scale didn’t move an inch! I was depressed, but, hubby dear goaded me to not give up and to start eating with a vengeance ALL that I loved to eat.
   I decided that enough was enough. There was really no point in crying over what I could not change. I would accept my ‘slim figure’ and make the best of it. So, I stopped climbing the weighing scale. And stopped stressing over my weighty issues. And started enjoying my God given ‘size zero’ body! During lunch break at my workplace, all the desserts were passed over to me. My colleagues grumbled that by merely sniffing the sin foods they would pile on a few kilos. I was looked at with pride ,with a hint of jealousy, by the girls! Ah! I was ecstatic! I felt re-born! Gone were all the negative emotions . Instead, I started revelling in my luck! I wouldn’t ever have to worry about fitting in those old jeans. I would always ‘fit in’, no matter how old the jeans or the blouses. I wouldn’t have to step into a gym ever. No huffing and puffing at the gym along with a hundred sweaty bodies. Just a stroll in the fresh air and I am done exercising. Ah! I hate being sweaty anyway!
   So, bring on the cakes and the pastries, the rosogullas and laddoos and all those ‘sin foods’! Why are these called sin foods anyway? What did you say? Calories? What are calories? Who gives a damn about calories? I say, what’s ;life without a few sins along the way?!!

My mother, my best friend.

Its Mothers’ Day today
and there’s something I need to tell you,
but no words would be enough
except, Mother, I love you!

You know my every single tear
and the magic to wipe it away.
You drive away my fear
with your boundless love
    that comes my way.

You added colours to my dreams,
distant hopes have now come into being.
You helped me taste success,
you are the wind beneath my wings.

I cannot imagine living
a single day away from you.
Life would be so lonely
in this world, without you…

Mother, there is one wish
that I ask of you…
please don’t ever leave me
coz’ I cannot live without you.

For, the times can be dark
and so full of fear
but I will have the strength to face them
only if you are near.

I want to thank you, dear God
for truly blessing me,
with a mother so dear
who changed my destiny!

The old woman

She totters along on the quiet street
gazing at the melting sun,
how quick time passes by
pausing for none!

She looks around for passers by,
but finds she is all by herself,
her eyes now scan the horizon
as if looking for some help.

Help in finding answers
for mysteries of the past,
or taking it all in her stride
as her time now ends fast?

Her bones, they now creak
and her skin is all wrinkled,
but, there was a time
when her eyes-they twinkled!

She fought her life’s battles
and is now worn out and weary.
Her nights are now lonely
and the days are dreary.

She seeks help in finding
when will come the day
when her tired body
and soul will fade away.

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