Behind closed doors.

Behind closed doors.

Metanoia

I have been on a reading spree, of late; just finished reading my second book from among the trio I bought last Sunday –  ‘I let you go‘, by Clare Mackintosh. A psychological thriller, it was the kind of unputdownable books I prefer to read. I finished it in about two days; it could have taken me even less time had there not been any other work needing my attention!

The book begins with a hit and run case, but gradually emerges to be the tragic story of the heroine fleeing her miserable life as a victim of domestic violence. The writing is bold, in that  the scenes depicting the violence inflicted by the husband are graphic. It does need a lot of strength and willpower to  read about the acts of violence endured by the poor woman at the hands of her beastly  husband. I shuddered as…

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Fight for your life!

Fight for your life!

My dear friend,

This letter may come as a surprise to you. I hope you read it as soon as you receive it. Read it before it gets deleted/read by someone who has no right, whatsoever, to read your private mail.

I know my words might come as a shock to you, but, it’s a known secret that things aren’t as hunky dory in your life as you try to portray to the world.  Your  nervous demeanour never gets missed by me, or by the people of our apartment building. The way you resist mingling with us, or, sugarcoat your talks about your life when you do,  speaks a lot about the reality that you try to conceal from the world!

The walls aren’t soundproof, my dear, because I often hear you sobbing, whimpering, putting up with all the physical abuse you are being subjected to. I also have a fair idea that it’s been happening since quite some time now. I tried contacting you on your cell phone some days ago, but was met with a stern “She is sleeping,” from your husband. How and why you have been putting up with it all? I often wonder.

Do you know that whatever be the reason behind all the torture, it’s not your fault?  You – a highly qualified career woman quit her job to care for her home, toiling day and night trying to fulfil every duty to the best of her ability, ought to realise that this is not the life you need to settle for. Agreed, that it’s easier said than done, but you need to stand up for yourself, for your rights, for your self-respect.  I am also aware that you are battling this crisis by yourself and that’s why I am writing to you, to assure you that I am here for you. Not just I, but the women of our apartment building offer you our unflinching support in your time of need.

You need not stay mum and endure the abuse. You have to fight back! I can often hear the allegations hurled at you by your husband. And, every time you try to answer back I have heard the way he physically tortures you. Why? Oh, why are you putting up with it? Haven’t you informed about it to your family? Or, at least to your close friends? You need to confide in them about the kind of life you are living.  I am sure they will rush in to help you out of that hellhole.

Are you aware, that if not your family, then the law is always there to help you out? There are also organisations that offer their help, legal aid, counselling, in fact, everything you could possibly need to get out of this situation. All you need to do, is call out, and you will receive the help and the support you so need!

Remember, domestic violence is not just physical, but also emotional, psychological, financial as well as sexual. It is inflicted on you for no fault of yours. So, you have every right to stand up against it. For yourself, for your peace of mind, for the life you deserve to live. There is no point in defending the man in any way, because that is not going to change either him, or the way he treats you. That’s one thing you need to realise  – he is never going to change his ways, whatever you do for him.

So, my dear, speak up against him, against the violence, the terror and save yourself. We are here for you. All you need to do is muster the courage and call out and we will take over from there.  I promise. We all do!

Waiting to hear from you about any decision you make.

Your friend, in your time of need.

*********************

I am participating in the #ALetterToHer Blogathon at Women’s Web in support of  victims of domestic violence. 

A victim of domestic violence herself, author Meena Kandaswamy, has given a detailed account of her abusive marriage. A real life story that is bound to send shivers down your spine, were you to read about the violence she had to endure at the hands of her husband. A real life story, that I am sure will encourage many a victim of domestic violence to take up the cudgels against the tormentors who play havoc with their lives. A real life story I would like to read to know more about the brave woman who took a stand on the abuse she was facing and walked out on her marriage. 


Behind closed doors.

Behind closed doors.

I have been on a reading spree, of late; just finished reading my second book from among the trio I bought last Sunday –  ‘I let you go‘, by Clare Mackintosh. A psychological thriller, it was the kind of unputdownable books I prefer to read. I finished it in about two days; it could have taken me even less time had there not been any other work needing my attention!

 

The book begins with a hit and run case, but gradually emerges to be the tragic story of the heroine fleeing her miserable life as a victim of domestic violence. The writing is bold, in that  the scenes depicting the violence inflicted by the husband are graphic. It does need a lot of strength and willpower to  read about the acts of violence endured by the poor woman at the hands of her beastly  husband. I shuddered as I read those scenes. The kind of psychological control men can have over their women is ghastly, terrifying. One only needs to imagine with a sense of horror the kind of physical abuse the women must be experiencing.

There are a countless women in our midst who are victims of domestic violence. Not many among those will ever  speak about it in their entire lives. Dying a hundred deaths everyday, they put up a smile to ensure their appalling  truths never get exposed for fear of incurring the wrath of their demonic husbands. Concealing their wounds – both, physical and psychological – they go about their lives, mechanically,  putting up a charade of normalcy for their families who dote upon them. Living in a perpetual state of fear of their husbands – the evil incarnates – they live  a life of servitude.

It’s human nature to pass judgements on people we come across in our day to day lives without pausing to reflect upon the lives they must lead.  That woman from our apartment complex who hardly mingles with others; the colleague who appears perennially terrified;  the friend who gives excuses galore for not attending our parties – do we ever wonder what the reason behind their behaviour might be? All we do is label them ‘reserved’, ‘cold’, ‘snooty’, even, without pondering over the kind of lives they must lead behind closed doors.

There are organisations that help such victims, but rarely do the victims have the resources or the courage to file a complaint against their abusers. They not only fear the repercussions of their actions, but also find it difficult to trust the law. They know it’s a man’s world out there, akin to the one within the four walls of their homes. It’s hell they pay for speaking one word against their men; they can very well imagine the outcome of filing a formal complaint against their tormentors.

My heart goes out to these women, for the atrocities they face all their lives.  And, yet, I feel helpless, for nothing I say, or, nothing we say, will ever give them the motivation, the strength to step out of the hell they live in. Bogged down by worries about where do they go?/ how do they support themselves?/ will their parents stand by their side?  they suffer in silence.  And, even if they do muster the strength to move out of the hell hole, they have that nagging fear – will the men they leave behind ever allow them to live in peace? They never know what kind of revenge would await them!

If any of you are acquainted with such  a victim of domestic violence, do extend your hand for support. It will take a lot of energy to fight for their cause, but it will be a fight worth it. Freedom, as we say, is our birthright, therefore, no one, not a single soul has any right to take it away from us. It’s we women who ought to stand by each other, for it could have been our close ones suffering what those others are going through!
 Do think over it.


Love,


SHILPA…