Hug more often.

Hug more often.

In the city of Vienna, Austria, lives a young man by the name, Thyago Ohana.  Let’s call him an angel in disguise. You will soon learn why.

Every two or three months, he goes out on the busy streets with a big smile and a sign that says, “Free hugs”.  He opens his arms for an embrace to whoever may be in need of a squeeze. Reader’s Digest did an article on the power of touch, where it narrated Thyago’s heartwarming tale.

A few years ago, when he was stressed out during a visit to a new city, Thyago was hugged by a stranger that  left him feeling calm and joyous. It was this feeling that encouraged him to give back what he had received!

Thyago recalled an incident about an elderly woman who watched him as he offered hugs to passersby and asked him for a hug, herself. After a few moments, when they broke their embrace, she held on to his shoulders,  looked into his eyes and thanked him saying she couldn’t remember the last time someone had hugged her that way!

Wow! Isn’t that so very touching!?  Now do you agree that angel would be the perfect epithet for this young man?

I love hugs. I am quite a tactile person, who can be quite touchy, feel-y when with people I love dearly. Be they my close friends, my parents – I need to hug them to feel their presence; hold them by their arms, pinch their cheeks if they say something really cute, or even silly, in short, I need to feel them.

It suffuses me with warmth and an assurance that I have some really fantastic people in my life who not only love me, but look out for me, tolerate my craziness and will never let go of me.

When Chikoo was around, I would cuddle up to him every now and then. I loved hugging him, burying my face in his satiny fur and run my hands all over his warm body. I would pinch his cheeks, play with his soft, floppy ears, in general, drive him nuts by my tactility!

He enjoyed it when he was younger and reciprocated with much enthusiasm,  but in the past couple of years, he had become very possessive about his space. So, whenever I would snuggle up to him, he would indulge me for a minute or two, after which he would shift uncomfortably in his place and give me a give-me-my-space-woman look.

I would leave him alone after threatening to overdo it all the next time. Tee-hee!

Sigh. Those were wonderful times, when I had Chikoo’s instant hugs whenever I needed them. Now, I have to wait for the time when I can go, meet my parents, or my friends to get my quota of the comforting hugs.

Half of my friends, whom I communicate with online, send me virtual hugs. They are comforting, too, but I am waiting for the day I meet them in the real world and give them real hugs. Those will be beautiful moments!

A hug is the therapy we all need to indulge in much more frequently than we do.

We like our space, and unconsciously build invisible walls around ourselves– a boundary others aren’t allowed to cross. It does leave us bereft of the kind of comfort we, ironically,  seek everyday!

A hug expresses a million emotions. It conveys empathy, love, reassurance, appreciation, care and extends a kind of calm and happiness that no other therapy can.

Scientists have studied the effects of hugs and I am sure you must have read/heard all about the magic of hugs. So, I won’t go into it in detail, lest my post come across as a scientific piece on touch therapy!

All I would like to urge you to do, is go hug! Just do it, or get into a huddle, if you have a large group of friends, and feel your pain, your sadness physically leave your body!

I am aware of some people being allergic to physical contact. Ahem…this is actually a sarcastic remark for my best friend of 30 years who is so allergic to hugs, she has never allowed me to hug her in all these years! Can you believe it?

So, for people like my dear, idiot  friend, do give it a try!

Hug someone and feel for yourself the warmth that will wash over you, leaving you feeling relaxed and happy.

Go on…just do it, and let me know how you felt!

Until later,

Love,

SHILPA…

A hug is the best therapy we can get from our loved ones!





*Linking this post to #writingwednesdays at Write Tribe

On love and attachments.

On love and attachments.

Learning to live without the person whom we loved more than our life is one of the toughest things we humans experience during our life.
Almost every moment of our day we spend in their shadows, enveloped in their love; we don’t even realise when they became an extension of our selves. We come to accept them along with their flaws, their peculiarities, which often have the potential to drain us of our patience. Yet, we love them, unconditionally, at times wondering how we survived before they entered our world. Often, we also wonder how we will ever survive after they leave our world.

The human mind is such.  Its ability to give birth to a thought and then mull over it however unpleasant it may be, is quite baffling! We realise we stand to lose our sanity if we don’t get rid of that negative thought; we understand how important it is to live in the moment and enjoy it with the loved ones we fear losing someday, yet we keep worrying ourselves to death about what would happen to us if, someday, this person would cease to exist.

And, when that day does arrive, we find ourselves struggling, like a fish fighting to breathe when swept ashore by the cruel waves and left there to die.
The person we depended upon for succour, is no longer around to offer it to us when we need it the most.  We dwell upon those moments when we rushed to them to seek comfort during times of solitude and sadness. And now, as we grapple with those very emotions, we find ourselves all alone, unable to express to our near and dear ones the cause of our depression! We grieve for that one person who could read our mind and offer  their unfailing support without us having to ask for it and look around, trying to find that support in the ones who are around us, but in vain. And, that’s when we realise what an important role some people play in our lives. That’s when we realise that learning to live without them is now going to be an experience we won’t get over any time soon!

These days, the thoughts that crowd my already struggling mind are, is it wise getting emotionally attached to someone knowing fully well that someday they will be spoken about in the past tense, leaving our present in a state of misery?  Someday, we all will have to part ways with our loved ones for a varied reasons; won’t we be leaving behind souls deprived of our love, or they ours? Then why can’t we teach ourselves to live a life of detachment; learn to be as dispassionate and remote from those around us as our foolish emotional souls allow us to be?  It will be easier to deal with the loss – for them as well as for us – isn’t it?

Maybe, these are the immediate aftereffects of the loss I suffered on my baby’s demise that cause my mind to come up with such cynical thoughts.  Maybe, someday I will learn to live without him, and look back at our life together with  great fondness, revelling in many a happy memory. But, until that ‘someday’, I will have to fight this loneliness and depression that haunts me, often taking me by surprise even in the midst of the varied activities I occupy myself with these days.

Learning to live without this person I was so close to for close to thirteen years is going to be one of the toughest experiences of my life. Suffice  it to say, I rue the fact that I wasn’t prepared for this battle.

P.S.

Hubby brought home a parrot to fill the void left by Chikoo’s passing away, and I am just not able to get myself to bond with this guy.
I keep wondering if I am unable to bond with him because I don’t want to bond with him? He won’t be taking Chikoo’s place, for sure. But, I don’t want to give him any place, either. Not in my heart, no.
Am I being cruel?