Y – It’s all about looking after YOU. #AtoZChallenge

Y – It’s all about looking after YOU. #AtoZChallenge

#AtoZChallenge 2019 Tenth Anniversary badge

As I go through my ‘A to Z of Self-Care’ posts, I wonder what message I am trying to send out. Self care is an important topic today and everyone seems to be talking about how we need to shift the focus to ourselves, fulfil our needs, give ourselves the importance we so deserve. But, is it making us selfish, self-centred, narcissistic?

I remember, when I was to get married, mum took me aside and gently advised me to put my family and their needs before myself; my feelings, my moods were to be put aside, in a corner, and my family given unconditional love and importance.

I did it. I followed my mum’s advice and did just what she told me to. And, as much as I feel good about it, I feel I lost myself, somewhere along the way. Well, my mum, too, lost herself somewhere along the way.

Sigh.

Today, as much as I tell mum to shine the spotlight on her, I know how impossible it is for her to do so; how impossible it is for scores of women to do so.

Looking after ourselves, fulfilling our wishes, looking after our health, caring for our feelings is all a huge part of self-care–something we haven’t been conditioned to do. Precisely why we need to begin doing so, now!

So, no, self-care does not mean being selfish or self-centred, but just loving ourselves, unconditionally, and giving ourselves the importance and the respect we deserve.

No, we aren’t being narcissistic; we are only trying to shift the focus to ourselves–the way we need to.

And, no, it does not mean we are ignoring the needs of others. It means, we care for ourselves as much as we care for the world around us, because we matter, too.

SELF-CARE IN A NUTSHELL:

In the span of 24 hours, if you can set aside even half an hour for yourself, consider it ‘self-care’–something you did just for yourself, your happiness.

Whatever it is–pursuing a hobby, pampering yourself, looking after your health, giving yourself a pep-talk, de-cluttering your mind of negative thoughts, getting rid of anything that’s toxic, showering yourself with compliments–if it’s something that makes you feel good about yourself, just do it, and feel the difference.

And, when you notice the difference, make a mental note about how happy it made you feel–happy and content–and I am sure you will get into the habit!

 

Go, look after yourself, girls!

 

Lots of love,

SHILPA…

Self-care does not mean being selfish. it mens you care for yourself as much as you care for the world around you.

 

I am participating in the April A to Z Blogging Challenge, and my theme is, ‘SELF-CARE’. You will find all the A to Z posts here

T – Therapy for your troubled soul. #AtoZChallenge

T – Therapy for your troubled soul. #AtoZChallenge

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Stress was a huge part of my life for quite a long period. Dealing with mental illness patients wasn’t easy. It took its toll on me, but I had no one to talk to. I did attend a few therapy sessions after learning about hubby’s bi polar disorder, but then, Life got in the way and there was no time to think about myself.

It was last year that I decided, on the spur of the moment at our psychiatrist’s, that I needed to deal with my stress and anxiety. I was exhausted holding it all in for almost 19 long years and I just wanted to get rid of that fear that hampered my growth.

The therapy sessions helped me share things I had pushed to some dark corner of my mind and find a much-needed release. I also discovered that i suffered from Generalised Anxiety disorder–the most common of anxiety disorders in today’s world.

Today, after more than five months of my first therapy session, and with the help of medication, here’s how I find myself in a better space:

HOW THERAPY HAS BENEFITTED ME:

I am in a much better mental health than before.

I have learned to deal with the fear and the anxiety that would torture me earlier.

I have realised that my anxiety was a result of my imagination going wild.

I have become aware of how my mind works and how the negative thoughts disturb me so.

I have learned to change my thought process and look for positivity in even the most trying situations.

I have learned a few facts about my panic and how to deal with the uncertainties with a calm mind.

And, most important of all, I have learned to live in the moment and take Life as it comes.

It is such a relief, being able to live life without fear or anxiety interrupting every step of the way!

YOU NEED THERAPY IF:

1. If your loneliness gets frightening and leaves you feeling crippled.

2. If your anxiety comes in your way and controls your everyday functioning.

3. If you have sleep issues: have trouble falling asleep/have a disturbed sleep/feel fatigued at the beginning of your day.

4. If you have thoughts that control you and leave you distressed on a daily basis.

5. If you have difficulty dealing with issues arising in your relationships.

6. If you have anger issues.

7. If you suffer from uncontrollable mood swings.

8. If fear/jealousy/sadness et al are the emotions that rule your world.

9. If you feel depressed all the time.

10. If you find yourself unable to deal with difficult situations with confidence and courage.

There is really no shame in visiting a counsellor or going in for therapy. Your mind and your soul deserve to be cared for the same way you care for your physical health and appearance.

All it needs is a phone call to make an appointment, and complete faith in your therapist. Oh, and complete honesty on your part, too!

Cheers!

Love,

SHILPA…

Therapy is a necessity for a troubled soul

I am participating in the April A to Z Blogging Challenge, and my theme this year is, ‘SELF-CARE’. You will find all the A to Z posts here.

S – Be your own Support System. #AtoZChallenge

S – Be your own Support System. #AtoZChallenge

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It’s contradictory to what I shared about connecting with your tribe, isn’t it?

“Be your own support system.”

Apologies, if you think I mislead you.

You should definitely have a support system–your close friends and family who will be by your side through thick and thin, but, you also need to learn to be self-reliant.

Life is such…

Each one of us here is fighting a battle. With Life, you never know when it will spring a surprise (or a shock) on you. So, it could happen thus, that, precisely when you are experiencing a tough situation, the people in your tribe might also be going through a difficult period.

Just when you need someone by your side, you might not have anyone; or, those around might be preoccupied with their own worries. What do you do then? You don’t wish to burden them with your troubles, do you?

Of course, there are others around who will come to your aid. But, it’s something I have learned over the years that…

YOU ARE, BASICALLY, ON YOUR OWN.

The reason being, no one can fight your battles for you. You need to do it yourself. You might get support, but, once you enter the arena, it’s just you who’s facing the bull. And, so that you are able enough to face the raging bull and save yourself, you need to become YOUR OWN SUPPORT SYSTEM.

It’s tough, I know, but if we accept the (bitter) truth, it will be easier preparing ourselves to face the upheavals we come across, isn’t it? Of course, as much as we prepare ourselves, we can never be sure of what Life brings along with it!

However, if we accept that Life is capable of capsizing our boat when we least expect it, and hence arm ourselves with enough courage and will-power to face any situation, we will be able to get through it. Bruised and battered, but we will make our way through it, for sure.

Once we instil it in our mind, it gets easier working on our strength, looking for alternatives, and making ourselves mentally fitter to face all that Life brings along.

TIPS TO BECOME STRONGER AND SELF-RELIANT:

Begin your day with positive affirmations:

I am ready to face whatever comes my way.

I am enough.

I am physically, mentally and emotionally, stronger than I know.

I am my HERO.

I am confident of myself.

Life is good, despite its ups and downs. I love the ‘ups’ and learn from the ‘downs’.

I am not perfect, but it’s okay. I am ME…I am UNIQUE.

Control your mind:

Practise mindfulness. It’s difficult, but it’s worth it.

Live in the moment.

Do not frighten yourself with dark imaginings. Our anxieties stem only from imagining the worst-case-scenario.

Breathe.

Avoid multi-tasking and stay sane.

Look after your health and your needs.

Make self-care an important part of your day.

Smile.

Trust in the Super Power/God/Almighty. He gives us only those problems that we can handle, to make us stronger than we are.

Lift your morale with positive self-talk….each day, every day.

And, if Plan A doesn’t work, there are 26 letters in the alphabet.

Finally, always remember, you are much more capable than you give yourself credit for.

Wish you the best, my darlings!

Love,

SHILPA…

I am participating in the April A to Z Blogging Challenge, and my theme is, ‘SELF-CARE’. You will find my posts here.

R – Relax and Rejuvenate. #AtoZChallenge

R – Relax and Rejuvenate. #AtoZChallenge

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We will be more successful in all our endeavours if we can let go of the habit of running all the time, and take little pauses to relax and re-centre ourselves. And, we will also have a lot more joy in living!”

–Thich Nhat Hanh

 

So, how often do you take a break? Or, are you a workaholic, who thinks sleep is a waste of time and relaxing, laziness?

It’s necessary that we take a break once a week. Well, God, too, took rest on the seventh day, didn’t He?

However much enthusiasm we might hold within ourselves, it’s a fact that our body is not a machine that can work, ceaselessly. A machine, too, breaks down if overworked, and so could our body. And, our  mind, too!

Remember what we learned in school?

“All work and no play makes Jack a dull boy.”

It also makes Jill a dull girl! Jill, as in, YOU, my dear reader!

It’s OKAY to relax once a week; laze around doing nothing, or doing something you don’t do during the week days. That doesn’t mean you spend the day doing laundry, or cleaning up the entire house!

Just sit, breathe easy, sip your tea/coffee nice and slow and bask in the moment.

TIPS TO RELAX AND REJUVENATE YOUR BODY:

  1. Sleep until late on a Sunday. Your body isn’t accustomed to it, I know, so sleep till as long as you feel like, so that you wake up fresh.
  2. Stretch your body and exercise a little. I have noticed that if I miss my Yoga even for a day, my body feels ‘rusty’!
  3. Opt for something different for breakfast and try to involve the kids in making it.
  4. Put your phones away and spend time with your kids or friends and family.
  5. Unplug. The world won’t change much in a day if you don’t check what’s going on out there.
  6. Pamper yourself–either at home, or at the salon–and feel rejuvenated!

 

TIPS TO RELAX YOUR MIND:

  1. Play some music and sing along.
  2. De-clutter just one area of one room on a Sunday, and make plans to tackle another area the next Sunday. In short, just clean-up one spot instead of scrubbing the entire house; you will be bone-tired by the end of the day.
  3. De-clutter your mental rooms, too. Talk things out with your close ones if something’s been bothering you during the week and try to sort it out, or dump it in the trash can if it’s irreparable. Just let things be!
  4. Catch up on a movie or two at home with the entire family. For hubby and me, Sundays are ‘Movie days’, when we surf through Netflix and watch a couple of films.
  5. Prepare a to-do list for the next week/plan your meals/sort your work clothes. Be ready for the week ahead.

 

This is usually what I do on a Sunday, and believe me, it feels fantastic! Make changes as per your lifestyle, but do take that break.

YOU need it, my dear!

 

Love,

SHILPA…

 

Our body is not a machine that can work ceaselessly. It needs weekly rest and relaxation.

I am participating in the April A to Z Blogging Challenge and my theme is, ‘SELF-CARE’. You will find all the A to Z posts here.

 

 

Q – Quit Multi-tasking. #AtoZChallenge

Q – Quit Multi-tasking. #AtoZChallenge

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Women are multi-taskers who juggle a hundred things as deftly as a juggler!

How proud I felt reading this statement! I would pat my back for accomplishing 5 tasks simultaneously. But, not once did I think about the frustration and irritation that would overcome me as I managed those 5 tasks. What an idiot I was!

I am sure all of us are guilty of multi-tasking, and feeling good about it, too. Rarely do we ponder how we harass our brain as we try to do so.

Have you observed how exasperated you are when there are 10 things demanding your attention and when you try to give all those 10 things your time?

Imagine yourself in the kitchen/work table, working on something, when your kid or someone asks for some help. Wanting to fulfil your their wish and completing the job at hand, you do both these things, simultaneously. And, just then, something else comes up.

Even as you try to do these three things together, your breathing becomes shallow, your heart-rate increases, you lose your attention and you feel your frustration rising by the minute. So, at the end of it all, what have you achieved that’s worth patting your back?

You managed to complete your work, fulfil people’s wish and some more work, but ended up tiring yourself–body and mind. Especially, mind.

According to research…

1. Our brain works efficiently while doing one task at a time.

2. We are most productive as we focus only on that one task.

3. We complete the task quicker and to our satisfaction.

4. And, doing that one task takes far less time than doing ten things to save time.

 

Multi-tasking affects your mind and your mood!

 

 

Multi-tasking not only affects your productivity and efficiency, it also affects your mood. How crabby we are when we juggle multiple tasks at a time!

So, irritation, frustration, inefficiency, lack of productivity, lousy moods, and exhaustion–this is what you get when you multi-task.

Why would you want to suffer from all of these, anyway? You won’t be receiving any medals for being so “competent”, will you?

 

Instead,

Be mindful of what you do when you do it.

Focus on the task at hand and immerse yourself completely in it.

This way, you will not only give it your 100%, but enjoy it, too.

Mindfulness improves your concentration, productivity and efficiency and reduces mental and physical fatigue.

 

Quit multitasking for your peace of mind!

Self-care means taking care of yourself and your mental and physical well-being, and when you multi-task, you are doing the exact opposite.

Do as much as you can, without burdening your brain or body.

Accomplish one task at a time. The world will not come to an end if you don’t complete all the tasks on your to-do list.

Begin with the important task. Then, move to the less important ones. And, if something gets left out, do not blame yourself for being slothful or incompetent. Just do it at the end, or the next day.

Be mindful of what you do and enjoy your work. This way, you will be satisfied with your efficiency and happy with yourself.

 

Love,

SHILPA…

 

Why you need to quit multi-tasking.

 

I am participating in the April A to Z Blogging Challenge and my theme this year is ‘SELF-CARE’.

You will find my posts here.