Never-ending needs.

                 Every time I dress up to attend a function, or a formal occasion, I look at the spouse from the corner of my eyes, to look for a hint of admiration in his discerning eyes. But, sadly, all I see, is him, admiring himself in the mirror, without so much as a glance thrown in my direction! Being a housewife, chances of me getting all decked up, are few and far between; thus, the curiosity, the eagerness to receive compliments, rises at such times. As much as I know, that it is donkey’s years since the man has been living with me, and therefore finds nothing new or exciting, I crave to see that look which, once upon a time, gave me goose pimples, and set my heart racing. 
              This need for approval also worms it’s way into my hungry mind, when I try a new recipe, or sketch a portrait, or even, when I write a post that gets appreciated by fellow bloggers. Of course, the reaction is as lukewarm as always. Sigh! But,why is it, that we yearn for that one look, that one word, from the ‘person who matters the most’, which would mean the world to us; which holds more weight than, oh, I don’t know, an 80 feet container?!  And, all this, even after so many years of togetherness? When ‘taken for granted’ is the set trend? 
             We humans are such an unsatisfied lot! Always yearning  for approval,needy for feeling wanted, loved and admired, for anything and everything we do! Why can’t we trust ourselves to know, that we are exceptional beings, capable of doing anything we set our hearts on, to the best of our abilities? The guys at Facebook have taken advantage of this very human frailty, and devised the Like button; our morales depend on that one tiny button, each time we give the world a peep into our lives! 
            However, we learn from our mistakes. We learn from the lessons that life teaches us at every turn. And, I  for one, have learnt, never to expect any kind of approval from the you-know-who! I write, and my fellow bloggers appreciate my creativity. I cook, and my taste buds commend my culinary skills, I dress up and the mirror praises my beauty and applauds my sartorial sense! Whoa! What more do I want? 
          Just one “Like’ from the man-of-my-life, 
          for the pains I have taken, to be the ideal wife! 

21 Replies to “Never-ending needs.”

  1. Ha, sounds like the time I ask my husband for blog comments 😉 But sigh, we need to move away from external praise, Shilpa. Write and do what we can for our happiness. That's the true path

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  2. haha.. men are like that Shilpa… I think they are wired that way…And we are,well, differently…I know what you mean when you say just one like would mean so much…But you see men will be men and we will, I guess, be women 🙂

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  3. True, Nabanita! Men will be men. When I told hubby that I was busy writing a post, his response was….”Whats new about that? You are always writing. And, what good has it done to you?” I thought,”Wow! What timing! And, an apt post at that!” :))

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  4. I felt like I could be writing the first lines of your post, after having been married for 15 years this is a feeling I totally identify with. Yes approval should come from within etc, but to make sure he knows how I feel – I handle it nowadays by saying loudly in his hearing “I think I look great and ready to face the world” or “Doesn't that new recipe taste good?” :P.

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  5. Haha! I totally love your style, Aparna! Nowadays, I have begun to pat my own back if I do something praiseworthy, or, look into the mirror and proclaim,”You are the fairest of them all!” Works for me!
    Thank you for visiting, Aparna! 🙂

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  6. Husbands are like this, I suppose. Sometimes when I feel pretty I look at him to know if he feels the same. And for what, not even a glance in my direction. Once I asked him after we were back from outing that if I looked extraordinarily beautiful (because well, I am ordinarily beautiful otherwise, 😉 ) that day, because so many people looked at me and you know what he replied to me. People will look if they think something or someone is extraordinarily not beautiful too!!! I mean, come now!! But then when I am least expecting he sometimes throws in those “you are beautiful” stuff around. So I am at peace now. Should have thought about this before marrying a man, right. 🙂 Everyone can relate to your post, Shilpa. 🙂

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  7. Oh, dear! I can relate to you, Shilpa. I like approval and compliments, too and the sight of those likes on Facebook can set my heart on fire. Okay maybe not that much. LOL! Lately I have tried to lower my expectations about people and events. I was even getting upset that I was paying a lot of attention to someone on FB (a relative) and they were totally ignoring me. So one sided. Finally I said enough and unfollowed that person. Easier that way.

    Remember Queen of your Own Life and love yourself and pat yourself on the back because you are worthy of self love. If others give approval, that's great but we can't expect it as it's too unpredictable and they're caught up in their own agenda. That said, maybe the hubs needs you to say something about his lack of attention. Often men are dense and don't even realize that they're doing something (or not doing something as in not being very attentive) that's bothering you. I know with my Hubs, I have to spell it out very clearly what I want and expect before he gets it. All the best! You seem like a lovely lady to me. Be good to yourself. You're worth it and you're Queen of your own life!

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  8. Thank you, Cathy! I actually do it, you know! I pat my own back and blow myself flying kisses to feel good about myself, when I don't receive the attention from others around. Yes, I am the queen of my own life! 🙂

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