I admit, I am late in discussing this event, but did you watch the controversial ‘Koffee with Karan’ episode, two weeks ago? The one where the uber-talented Kangana Ranaut and Saif Ali Khan were Karan Johar’s guests on his famous couch, sipping coffee along with him? Did you notice Kangana’s confidence and her sassiness? Do you remember her repartees, her jibes, her ripostes that were well-aimed at Mr. Johar? How fearlessly she spoke her mind without mincing words! And, she was in conversation with one of the Big Daddies of Bollywood!
I am an admirer of Ms. Ranaut, and I was blown away by her candour. The fact that she gave two hoots about diplomacy, and about the men in power in the hindi film industry, shows how self-assured she is. She wasn’t born into the industry, with a silver spoon; she entered the industry as an “outsider”, who, despite being written off by the industry bigwigs, worked her way up the very competitive ladder, right to the top, and proved to one and all what nerves she is made of!
And, as I watched her, awestruck at the strength she displayed, I wished I was cut from the same cloth. I wished I had the ability to hold my own when faced with dilemmas that rendered me helpless, and submit to the whims of fate. I wished I had it in me to care a damn about people and their judgemental ways, and live life as I please. I wished I had the guts to face life’s tough times as bravely as she has and make myself proud of the way I handled things.
The thoughts dwelled on in my mind for quite a long time after the show ended. I did beat myself up for being a ninny and not building courage to face the upheavals in life. However, as this mental storm subsided and as the dark clouds of self-doubt and self-loathing cleared, I realised I hadn’t been less of a fighter myself! Agreed, I am not like Kangana, or any other Superwoman out there, but then, neither are my battles like those of the others! I may not have shown the conventional bravado we are used to seeing celebrated all around us, but, I did show presence of mind, patience and tact when the situations asked for it.
I went for a walk down memory lane, reliving all the tough times I have been through and saw how well I had dealt with whatever destiny handed me. I felt proud of myself and gave myself a pat on my back for having made it through every storm I faced, without thinking of quitting, ever. I honoured The Hero within me for all those times I know others in my place would have given up. I applauded myself and my graceful performance and came back feeling good!
Today, as I write this post, I feel that every woman out there who has fought a hundred battles in her life is, indeed, a hero. If she were to recognise her mettle, discover her forbearance and proudly show off the scars her wounds give her, she would realise what a hero she is! Our battles are different and so is our fighting technique. We fight the way we were built to, but, the bottom line is, we fight.
We often associate heroism with masculinity, seldom realising that facing the battles of life also requires gentleness and patience apart from determination and courage. It isn’t easy making it out there despite the threats to your life right since the time you are in your mother’s womb, or born a female in our male-dominated society. It isn’t easy dreaming of reaching for the skies of the competitive world where we are considered the “weaker sex”. Neither is it easy making it in life with all the expectations of society and the family foisted on us at every step of the way.
And, yet, we make it. We make it into this world, we make it past the hurdles strewn all along the way to fulfil our dreams; dreams of an education, a career and even dreams of bringing up a family singlehandedly. Caring for each and every soul in our life, we plough on to reach our goals, with minimum support and applause.
So, isn’t it time we applauded ourselves? Isn’t it time we doffed our hat to ourselves for all that we have achieved; for our bravery, for the wounds we carry so proudly, rarely giving the world a glimpse of these, and smiling despite the tears, and the fears?
I think we ought to. For if we don’t, who would?
So, to all the women out there, pat your back, hug yourself and take a bow…YOU MADE IT! Despite everything, you made it. You are braving all odds, facing a million hurdles, striving to live your dreams, despite everything. And, even as you do it all, you are taking your loved ones along with you, fulfilling every duty, every promise you are expected to, by your family, by the society, by the world.
Kudos to you, girl!
You are, truly, a hero.
Wishing all the beautiful women out there, a very happy Women’s Day!
Attaching this note now, after reading a few comments of my blogger friends:
The title, ‘You are The Man’, is no attempt at trying to find ( and glorify) the Man within the Woman, but, it’s just a play on words.
Contradictory as it may sound – the title and the post – I don’t have any intentions to prove that I am as strong and capable as a man. I am happy and proud with the woman in me who can deal with life and her weird ways much more competently than a man!