The weather here has been bizarre, lately. Diwali is just round the corner and the rains haven’t bid adieu yet! They keep giving unexpected visits, much to our annoyance, leaving us wondering when they will be gone for good! We don’t want our Diwali spirits dampened, do we? But, rains or no rains, we need to begin preparing for the Mother of all festivals.
Spring-cleaning, as we call it, has begun in most homes. And, de-cluttering, too. It took off in mine a couple of days ago. This year, however, I decided to take it easy. I have always been a cleanliness freak. Cleaning was a favourite hobby! This year, though, my enthusiasm seems to have dimmed. I think it’s my wisdom at work.
Wisdom, you ask?
I know, you will wonder what does wisdom have to do with cleaning the house? So, let me explain. All these years, I was hell-bent on keeping my physical surroundings clean. Not a speck of dirt could I tolerate. Things had to be in their rightful place and no junk lying around and taking up precious space in any of the rooms. I am particular about it even now, but to a lesser degree. But, of late, I have realised that it’s what’s inside my mind that needs to be put in order than what’s outside! So, you see now? Wisdom!
And, it is this wisdom that makes me take de-cluttering my mental rooms more seriously than de-cluttering my house.
There are scores of things–clutter, actually–that need to be cleared from our heads; tossed out just like the junk we don’t need. Sharing here some changes we need to make in ourselves.
GET RID OF THIS JUNK:
Grudges: What good is it holding a grudge against anyone, at all? We all are cast in a different mould. Our thought processes, our behaviour, our reactions towards incidents are all going to be different. Accepting people as they are, accepting them along with their flaws helps in forgiving people their wrongdoings. We aren’t epitomes of perfection ourselves. We too may be hurting people with our words, our deeds. Don’t they forgive us? Holding a grudge will only poison our heart! Do we really need it?
“Forgive and forget, for your own peace of mind.”
Negativity: A negative attitude, is what pulls us down. Like the other day, when hubby informed me that his colleagues wanted to taste some home-baked cookies. Not having baked cookies in a long time, I had lost confidence in myself – my emphatic, “They won’t come out right!” , further strengthened my resolve of not baking those at all. Hubby was quick to reprimand me and saw to it that I baked the cookies. Surprisingly, for me, they came out perfect. His colleagues enjoyed them and placed orders for a couple of batches!
That is the negativity that needs to be thrown out, along with all the other junk, and replaced with positivity – loads of it. It sure is a difficult road to achieving these goals, but change our mindsets, we must. It is a daily affair – this spring-cleaning of our selves. Positive affirmations on a daily basis, keeping a vigil every moment, staying alert to even the faintest of sounds of the negativity creeping in stealthily needs to be developed into a habit.
“You can’t live a positive life with a negative mind.”
Stop being a people-pleaser: Yes, I admit, sometimes I do it. It became a habit after I got married and found I had a MIL who – I felt – needed to be kept happy. I used to be scared of things going wrong and she getting disturbed (she was a patient of schizophrenia). So, everything I did, I did to please her, keep her happy – as if that was going to help! It was an illness and anything could trigger an “episode”. But, I was naive, and scared, and wanted her to be peaceful. So, pleasing her became a habit. And, now, even after her passing, I am unable to shed that habit, try as I might.
I want people to be happy, so I go out of my way, at times. I fear saying a, “NO”. Pathetic, I know, but that’s how I have been. Changing a habit of almost 20 years is not easy. But, I know I ought to do it. Every cell in my body needs a thorough clean-up to rid myself of this habit. It takes its toll on me – body, mind and soul – and leaves me in a complete mess.
“If you try to please all, you please none.”
Making just a few changes in ourselves on a regular basis, de-cluttering all the junk from our mind and making space for positive and happy thoughts is what is a necessary part of self-care. It is tough, no doubt, but it is for our well-being, our safety, that we need to make an effort.
Working on ourselves is never easy. There are days when we have it all sorted out. But, there are also days when everything goes against us. Every damn thing! And, it is on these very days when we need to gather ourselves, our courage and just push ourselves ahead. Come what may, we need to keep moving ahead; turning back is not an option, is it?
So, keep going, my lovelies, for the sake of YOU!
Linking this post to The WriteTribe Problogger October 2017 Blogging Challenge.