The weather here has been bizarre, lately. Diwali is just round the corner and the rains haven’t bid adieu yet! They keep giving unexpected visits, much to our annoyance, leaving us wondering when they will be gone for good! We don’t want our Diwali spirits dampened, do we? But, rains or no rains, we need to begin preparing for the mother of all festivals.
Spring-cleaning, as we call it, has begun in most homes. It took off in mine a couple of days ago. This year, however, I decided to take it easy. I have always been a cleanliness freak. Cleaning was a favourite hobby! This year, though, my enthusiasm seems to have dimmed. I think it’s my wisdom at work.
Wisdom, you ask? Yes, wisdom. I know, you will wonder what does wisdom have to do with cleaning the house? So, let me explain. All these years, I was hell-bent on keeping my physical surroundings clean. Not a speck of dirt could I tolerate. Things had to be in their rightful place, in order. I am particular about it even now, but to a lesser degree. But, of late, I have realised that it’s what’s inside me that needs to be put in order than what’s outside! So, you see now? Wisdom!
And, it is this wisdom that makes me take spring-cleaning my self more seriously than spring-cleaning my house.
There are scores of things – clutter, actually – that need to be cleared from our heads; tossed out just like the junk we don’t need. Sharing here some that we all need to get rid of.
Grudges, for example. What good is it holding a grudge against anyone, at all? We all are cast in a different mould. Our thought processes, our behaviour, our reactions towards incidents are all going to be different. Accepting people as they are, accepting them along with their flaws helps in forgiving people their wrongdoings. We aren’t epitomes of perfection ourselves. We too may be hurting people with our words, our deeds. Don’t they forgive us? Holding a grudge will only poison our heart! Do we really need it?
Next in line is negativity. A negative attitude, is what pulls us down. Like the other day, when hubby informed me that his colleagues wanted to taste some home-baked cookies. Not having baked cookies in a long time, I had lost confidence in myself – my emphatic words, “They won’t come out right!” , further strengthened my resolve of not baking those at all. Hubby was quick to reprimand me and saw to it that I baked the cookies. Surprisingly, for me, they came out perfect. His colleagues enjoyed them and placed orders for a couple of batches!
That is the negativity that needs to be thrown out, along with all the other junk, and replaced with positivity – loads of it. It sure is a difficult road to achieving these goals, but change our mindsets we must. It is a daily affair – this spring-cleaning of our selves. Positive affirmations on a daily basis, keeping a vigil every moment, staying alert to even the faintest of sounds of negativity creeping in stealthily needs to be developed into a habit.
A habit I so so need to develop, starting yesterday!
The other thing I need to get rid of – we all need to get rid of – is being a people-pleaser. Yes, I admit, sometimes I do it. It became a habit after I got married and found I had a MIL who – I felt – needed to be kept happy. I used to be scared of things going wrong and she getting disturbed (she was a patient of schizophrenia). So, everything I did, I did to please her, keep her happy – as if that was going to help! It was an illness and anything could trigger an “episode”. But, I was naive, and scared, and wanted her to be peaceful. So, pleasing her became a habit. And, now, even after her passing, I am unable to shed that habit, try as I might.
I want people to be happy, so I go out of my way, at times. I fear saying a, “NO”. Pathetic, I know, but that’s how I have been. Changing a habit of almost 20 years is not easy. But, I know I ought to do it. Every cell in my body needs a thorough clean-up to rid myself of this habit. It takes its toll on me – body, mind and soul – and leaves me in a complete mess. So, beginning today, I am going to work towards not pleasing anyone but myself.
Brave words, I know. I just hope I implement them in my everyday life. Uff…having made this vow, I already find it too intimidating an ordeal, making these changes in myself! WIll I be able to do it? See? THIS is the negativity I need to dispose of. I will need all the strength I can muster. I have a tough road ahead.
Working on ourselves is never easy. There are days when we have it all sorted out. But, there are also days when everything goes against us. Every damn thing! And, it is on these very days when we need to gather ourselves, our courage and just push ourselves ahead. Come what may, we need to keep moving ahead; turning back is not an option, is it?
So, keep going, my love. For the sake of YOU!
Love,
SHILPA..
Image source: PIXABAY
Linking this post to The WriteTribe Problogger October 2017 Blogging Challenge.
#writebravely #writetribeproblogger
Now that is true springcleaning Shilpa; made me thing for a bit too about my wisdom and using it to clean up i my home and heart too!!!
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That’s nice, Shalz. Let’s focus on our heart…the house is always clean! 🙂
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Wonderful Shilpa! Just plain wonderful! I so agree with you that cleaning begins with cleaning your heart! I see so many people who are sticklers for clean surroundings and clean homes and what not…but fail to cleanse their thoughts, their attitude. What is the point? Isn’t it? (And I am not saying this because I am generally a slob ;)) Ahem…so. nicely done!
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Hehe, yes, I know what you mean, Rashmi. A clean house does not mean a clean heart! The Dil needs to be cleaner, purer!
Thank you so much! 🙂
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Cleaning from within makes it easier to clean without. This year my house has been cleaned thoroughly every week so Diwali cleaning has been given a miss. Also with all the diets in play food is also given short shrift.
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Good for you, Sunita! I still have some cleaning left…will do a little bit everyday. Cleaning within is what I need to focus on more! 🙂
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Shilpa my dear, you are one of the sweetest, gentlest persons I know. You think too much! Loved the points you made. Off with negativity, grudges and all that extra baggage. We need to please ourselves more than others. All the same, Diwali without cleaning hell…wish I could pull that off!
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Thank you so much, Kala! That made me feel so special!
Yes, Diwali does need cleaning…can never put that off, can we?
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What a fun post .Its right that we should spring clean our homes and hearts regularly.#writebravely
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Thank you, Amrita! 🙂
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People pleasers have it tough, I know from experience. Loved your emotional spring cleaning. Reading your posts makes my heart sing every time, thank you for writing such lovely posts.
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Reading your comment made my heart sing, Sulekha! Thank you so much! ❤
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This was such a wonderful post! Yes, its important to get rid of the dirt that we have within us. That’s more important to be dealt with than the dirt outside.
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Thank you, Reema! Yes, we so ought to deal with what’s inside! 🙂
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Good points Shilpa. Iam fine with avoiding ‘people pleasing behaviour’ and negativity but forgiving someone doesn’t come easily for me. Even though it’s difficult to change our old bad habits, it’s a great first step to even accept our faults.
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I know, Ramya. We all have some such habits that we know are really not good, but we need to change. If not now, then in the future, but, change we must! 🙂
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This was such a wonderful post, Shilpa. I am.guilty if the first one. I can’t forget. I try to forgive. But lately I found out that I don’t completely forgive unless the person asked for forgiveness. It’s an inability, but I stand by my feelings even though I know I am the one getting hurt due to this inability. Honestly, I feel that I’m faking it if I talk to someone who hurt me as if everything is alright between us. Glad to know that you are focussing on cleaning up all the diets residing inside you. We should all do that every now and then.
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It’s okay, Vinitha. There are certain things we can’t change, but have to. For ourselves, for our peace of mind. All the best, dear! 🙂
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Such a sensible post, Shilpa. This kind of cleaning needs to be fine regularly. I just wish it was easy to do it. About Diwali cleaning, that had gone off well for me. Last stretch now. 😊
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Rachna, good for you! You are almost done with your Diwali cleaning, I am still lagging behind. Will do as and when the mood strikes! 🙂
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What a fantastic post! I love it. These are things we should get rid off. Not just Just annually but forever 🙂
Coming to spring cleaning, I head home for Diwali ensuring I don’t have to clean my house. The mums will do theirs. 😉
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Hehe..yes, we can afford to do that , but cleaning ourselves is our responsibility! Thanks Parul! 🙂
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That’s the best kind of spring cleaning. Hugs to you for getting over the people-pleasing bit. We need to understand that all people (not just ones suffering from mental illnesses) will have ‘episodes’ no matter what we do.
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Yes, Tulika. I learnt it quite late, but now I want to change all of that. 🙂
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This is the kind of spring cleaning we need more often than once a year, Shilpa. Standing up for oneself comes with a price – suddenly people wonder what’s got into you. 😉
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How true, Corinne! All the change we undergo, thanks to our concentration on ourselves, does leave people wondering! 😛
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Such a fab post, Shilpa. What matters is what’s inside and that is what we should be cleaning/working on. And this is something that we should be cleaning regularly!!
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Yes, Shilpa! Focusing on the within is so important!
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That’s what I call cleaning!!! Well said!
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I thought you will be talking about house cleaning. But I agree, cleaning our mind and hearts is more important.
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That’s more important, isn’t it, Anchal? 🙂
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If we do this kind of spring cleaning frequently we will really be happy. Enjoyed the post.
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Very true, Nupur. Happy and peaceful! 🙂
Thank you!
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Wise words shilpa!! To let go of the Grudges and negativity is the most important type of cleaning we should engage ourselves in.
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It is tough, but also the best thing to do, isn’t it, Nidhi?
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All of this is so true. When I carry a grudge against another person, I’ve let that person have free space inside my head and that person has won. It’s time to kick out the freeloader! It feels so good to let it go and start with a clean heart.
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You put it so well, Alice! Why give our ‘precious space’ to anyone and ruin our peace of mind?
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Ah! Profound thoughts before the festive season indeed. And removing these negativities, though an ongoing process, is what we must be focussing on!!!
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What good are the negativities anyway? Right Ramya? 🙂
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Great insight and analogy for spring cleaning. We are quick to clean things we notice being dirty or messy but rarely do we look inside ourselves or our relationships and do the same.
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So true, Sanch! Looking within, cleaning what lies within will help us lead better lives, for sure!
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true… don’t just clean ur house but ur heart as well
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Yes, Nidhi! Clean your heart…more than your home! 😛
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What a lovely thought, Shilpa. This kind of spring cleaning seems more useful than the physical kind. Am going to start right away.
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You bet it is, Nupur! It does take a lot of working, though…so one needs to keep doing it all the time! 🙂
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