By “friends”, I don’t mean friends on Facebook with whom you haven’t had a “conversation” ever. Or your children’s friends’ parents who become a part of your life thanks to the various ‘Parents groups’ one joins to keep oneself abreast of what’s happening in the lives of their tiny tots. Neither am I talking about the different friends who belong to different categories one allots them to.
By “friends”, I mean your real friends who form the innermost circle – who know your past, your life, your fears and even your desires, Friends, who have been with you for some time now. Who have been privy to personal matters which you may have shared with them and eased your burden. Friends who, you felt, would always be a part of your life.
So, are you losing these special friends?
This morning, I heard one of my favourite songs:
“Diye jaltey hain…phool khiltey hain…badi mushkil se magar duniya mein dost miltey hain.”
It has played in my mind on the loop since then. I have always loved this song, right since the time I was in college when I heard it first. Back then, I had just one friend, and I would dedicate this song to her when I hummed it in her presence. Thankfully, she is still with me. Will always be, hopefully!
I have a few more friends who I am close to – have been close to since some years now. They know me inside out and I them. But, sadly, I feel the distance between us growing by the day. Although, I know, I just have to pick up the phone and blather on when in distress and they will be there to listen and make me feel better. But, there is this nagging feeling within me that tells me that, albeit slightly, our equation has changed. Maybe I am wrong. Maybe it’s all a figment of my overactive imagination, but, life does change, people do change, right?
Being an introvert, I have always had just a few friends. Few as in I can count them on the fingers of one hand. And, being a solitude-loving lonely soul, I don’t find the need to constantly hang out with my friends. Meeting them once in a while is enough. But, since some time now, I wonder why I feel them moving away…I find myself moving away, too.
Guess, Life must have gotten in the way, isn’t it?
Family, children, job, health, financial stress, life…all of it gets in the way. Our changing perspectives about life get in the way! I don’t mean to sound melancholic or bitter, but it’s something I have observed since sometime now. I am well aware of the fact that people come into our lives and move away and all that, but friends are the ones who are supposed to stay always, isn’t it?
There are some friends I lost along the way, but I will always cherish their memories, for sure. For, you don’t always come across a soul you vibe with instantaneously. You don’t always come across someone who reads your mind and knows the exact words that will make you feel good about yourself, about your life!
We all lose friends as we age. As I said, Life happens. It takes time getting over them. It takes ages, actually, but you learn to live without them. Many a time, you hope they will return, you hope you will hear from them, which, of course doesn’t happen. What does happen is, we learn to live with ourselves -‘we’ – our one constant friend till the end of time. We learn to take such eventualities in our stride, and make ourselves sturdier.
I wish I had known this fact earlier. I would have been better equipped to handle the heartache. But, I think the realisation had to come at an age when life begins making much more sense than it did earlier. The realisation that nothing is forever. That accepting life and moving on is the only solution to most of life’s miseries!
These are not outpourings of a broken heart, it’s just something that has weighed on my mind since some time now and I needed to share it with my other constant friend – my blog! Maybe the fear of losing people makes me all jittery and my imagination goes on an overdrive!
Are you too losing friends as you age?
Linking this post to The Writetribe Problogger October 2017 Blogging Challenge.