The importance of being emotionally Independent. #AtoZChallenge

#AtoZChallenge 2019 Tenth Anniversary badge



If you want to live a happy Life, tie it to a goal, not to people or objects.”

“Do not put the key to your happiness in another person’s pocket.”

We live our entire lives in pursuit of happiness; seeking it in the people in our life, in materialistic objects that lose their shine in a matter of days.ย Being by ourselves frightens us and leaves us feeling incomplete.

But, in reality…

Being able to enjoy one’s company, being able to find happiness in activities we do for ourselves, being responsible for our own emotions and happiness, makes us emotionally independent!

It’s what I wanted since years–to not be in a desperate need to have someone around me to feel happy, beingย comfortable with myself and find happiness in my work.

The craving for a company all the time made me desperate and dejected.

However, I realized that people aren’t constant in our lives. People leave after they have fulfilled their purpose in our life. The ones who do stay, are the very few who we call our “soul mates”. But, even our soul mates might not be around precisely when we need them!

“Everyone leaves. Learn to survive alone.”

…is a quote that made me realize this fact about LIFE.

Friends leave, some stay, some drift away, some find new friends; we grow emotionally distant from our partners, too, after spending years together; our children grow and leave the nest.

Who are we left with, ultimately? Just ourselves!

It is we who will be with us for the rest of our lives. So, why not be our own best friends–develop a strong bond with ourselves, learn to love ourselves and our company so much so, that we are never in need of another person to make us happy!

The best way to do this, as Albert Einstein said, is by having a GOAL in life. A goal that consumes us, our time, our thoughts, our energy, to such an extent, we hardly find the time to rue a person’s absence around us.

The GOAL could be your work, your hobby, volunteering at an NGO for kids, the elderly or an animal shelter, where we give our time to others, which, in turn, brings us immense peace and satisfaction.

Looking after your family’s needs is not your ‘purpose’; it’s your responsibility towards them.

A ‘PURPOSE’ is what will be your responsibility towards YOURSELF, one that will make you truly happy!

If you are wondering what is it that could be your purpose/goal, write things that make you happy–an activity/hobby/work that fulfills your emotional & creative needs, choose the one that’s closest to your heart, and just go for it!



The most important one being you will be comfortable in your own company. Not a dull moment, nor a lonely one!

You won’t have to wonder what to do with your time. You will always have a list of things to do that will keep you happy and occupied.

Being emotionally strong gives you a sense of purpose, and a strength you never knew you had.

It also improves productivity! Considering you give more importance to your work or activities and less of it to people, you can decide your schedule as per your convenience and get more and more work done in lesser time.

Being alone won’t ever scare you or leave you ill at ease. be it staying at home alone, or travelling alone or even watching a film alone, it gives you a sense of liberation and endless peace of mind.




  1. Go on a solo date. You will love it!
  2. Write your feelings in a journal
  3. Pursue a hobby.
  4. Learn a new skill that you can add to your CV
  5. De-clutter and re-organize your wardrobe/kitchen cabinets
  6. Spend time gardening/crocheting/sewing
  7. Go for a walk/jog/swim.
  8. Join a gym/yoga class
  9. Doodle/solve puzzles
  10. Read
  11. Visit a theatre/a museum
  12. Go to your favorite cafe.
  13. Have a spa day at home
  14. Call up your friends/sisters/mum
  15. Spend time with pets
  16. Scrub your house to a shine (my fave therapy!)
  17. Prepare a to-do list for the next week/month
  18. Listen to music and dance along
  19. Watch a movie at home with some popcorn to set the scene
  20. Cook your favourite dish/bake



Wish you the best!

Much love,





I am participating in the April A to Z Blogging Challenge. My theme this year is SELF-CARE.

You can read all my posts here.



Published by shilpagupte

Do you know the secret to living a happy life? Eat. Pray. Love. Or, watch what you eat, wish well for all and fill your heart with love! That's precisely what I try to do through my blogs: 'Metanoia', the wellness blogazine, and 'Fictionista', my blog for fiction and non-fiction. Welcome to my virtual homes!

26 thoughts on “The importance of being emotionally Independent. #AtoZChallenge

  1. I’ve spent 7yrs of my life in a hostel and three years in a PG/flat. This is where I learned to enjoy my own company. Watching a movie alone, eating alone and books for company became a part of my life. Post marriage and after motherhood, now I wonder if I will ever get some me time to enjoy my own company.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. How true, Roshan. It’s Life that pushes us in such situations and then makes sure we learn to be independent, however miserable we feel in the process. Ultimately, we win! ๐Ÿ˜›


  2. Last year I struggled a lot with loneliness, with not finding friends when I needed them. However, I did come to terms with it. Like you said – I went for lunch on my own and walked. It helped enormously. But I do need more practise. There are times when I crave the company of friends.

    Liked by 1 person

  3. While I do like being by myself especially when I read and write or even watching an interesting show, gardening, cooking and so many other activities. I do like company for things like catching a movie or eating out. Though I have eaten out alone many times and traveled a fair bit solo, I do enjoy company more. Yet, I don’t feel sad or lonely if no one is around. If I feel lonesome, I pick up and talk to a loved one.

    Liked by 1 person

  4. Very nicely penned! I love my company a lot and sometimes people mistake it for being unsocial! I would rather call myself limitedly social ๐Ÿ™‚ But to make people understand this concept is a bit challenging.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. How true! People must think of me as cold and/or reserved, oh and maybe a snob, too! It’s only people like me who will understand what it means to be on your own. ๐Ÿ™‚
      Thank you for visiting, Sonal!

      Liked by 1 person

    1. Your Muffy is your pillar of strength, Shalini, just like Chikoo was mine. It’s these guys who hold us together when we feel like we are falling apart!
      Thank you! โค


  5. There are times when this feeling of loneliness creeps up even with a home full of people and day full of activities. Sometimes it’s the mood or the hormonal changes in your body. I feel like sobbing for no reason. I usually watch sitcoms and I feel much better.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. Oh yes, Anshu. That’s how it all started. Loneliness hits you even when you are in a crowd. It’s the hormones, and the various moods we experience, but, it’s also times when that’s how things are. You are on your own, no one’s by your side when you want. And, that’s when you learn to enjoy your own company, and not pity yourself for being alone. Take care, dear girl!


  6. This post couldn’t have come at a better time. I’ve been wanting to talk about this same topic for months now, but never had the emotional strength to talk about it. You know, Shilpa, you and I are similar in so many ways, in spite of how different we come across โค

    I like my alone time, but I cannot be alone all the time. Thankfully I have a great husband and good friends who are there for me all the time. But I have seen really sad cases of emotional dependence, it sure is a curse. As for me, I read, listen to music and or watch something if a loneliness burst hits. I'm not the one to go out/eat/travel solo, so I know that will never work for me. I'm also glad I have people who will never let me be alone.

    Liked by 1 person

    1. I like my alone time, too, Soumya. And, I too have a few people who will not let me be alone. But, those few people live far away and find it impossible to be by my side when I need them. Of course, we talk over the phone for hours, but there are times when they aren’t available, and it’s for these times that I learned to enjoy my own company. It wasn’t easy, at all. But, I have worked at it for the past few years now, and consider myself a pro at it! ๐Ÿ™‚


  7. As much as I believe in emotional independence, I also think about companionship. What about togetherness? What about being there with each other, for each other?
    Yes, we must be comfortable with our own selves and do things we love, independently but at the same time, I do feel having someone by your side to share your woes and happiness is also important.

    Well written, Shilpa.


    Liked by 1 person

    1. Hi Geet!

      Yes, I agree….companionship is important, too. But, it’s what I have experienced, that after a certain number of years, the partners seek a space for themselves, or one of them becomes busy in his or her world and the other is left alone. And if you are able to enjoy your own company, then, this loneliness doesn’t bother you much. Otherwise, it can get too stifling, being on your own always!
      Yes, there is a partner to share your happiness and sorrow, but there are also times and circumstances, when you the partner is there, but isn’t “present” by your side, precisely when you need!

      Thanks for the visit and sharing your thoughts!


  8. I love my company and I love my me-time a lot.. KG and my work schedules make me spend a lot of time alone, but I have a lot of things to keep me busy and occupied… reading, watching netflix shows, my work from home etc. When traveling, I eat alone and I love doing that! When I feel lonely, I talk to my family and friends or go out and meet someone.

    Liked by 1 person

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