Can you spend time alone?

Can you spend time alone?

Well, can you? Or, do the walls of your house seem to close in on you, leaving you feeling stifled? Or, do you find it absolutely thrilling being on your own?

If it’s the latter, well, you are, indeed, lucky! You can survive very well on your own. You can take pretty good care of yourself and your emotional needs. In fact, you can consider yourself emotionally independent!

However, if it’s the former, then, you so need to work on yourself, sweetie! Consider this a loner’s verdict, if you may, but, take it from me that it is the number one bitter fact of life that:

Everyone leaves. So, you need to learn to survive alone!

“Of course, our friends will be there with us”, some of you might argue. But, will they, really? They have lives to live, battles to fight, issues to solve. They will have time constraints; some will move to another city; and some others will drift away. Life comes in the way, you see! And, even if your friends do stay, will they be there for you, always? As in, every time you need them? As much as they would want to, they won’t be able to.

So, what will you do in such a scenario?

“Well, our partner will be there for us, and so will our kids!” I can almost hear some of you assert, vociferously. But, do they really stay for you, precisely when you are desperate for someone to just sit by your side and offer their quiet company? They don’t! After a point, they lose patience. What do you do then?

Shall I tell you?

You learn to get used to your own company. It is really not that easy, believe me. But, it isn’t impossible, either. Ahem, all this gyaan comes from experience, by the way. So, I know what I am saying.

So, learn to enjoy your own company.

If you feel suffocated indoors, step outdoors. Go for a walk. Better still, take yourself out on a date! I have done it, and trust me, it was the best date of my life! I dressed up, went to a mall, lazed around in a bookstore, indulged in some window-shopping, had lunch and desserts and simply sat on a bench in the mall, watching life around me. Observing people, wondering about their lives, trying to guess their stories from what I saw. And, after a few hours, when I returned home, I felt refreshed!

My next on the to-do list is to go watch a movie, alone.

And, the next is, to travel alone.

Apart from these activities, you could develop a hobby or, maybe, find a job–something that you had pushed aside all these years. And, whatever it may be, make sure you stay occupied, so much so, that you find not a single moment to wallow in self-pity or pamper your, “I feel so lonely!” mindset.

Just do not encourage these negative feelings, for they ruin your mental space, leaving you completely broken and dejected. And, that is not a very good feeling.

I am just glad I had my pet Chikoo, my blog, my art and books and now I have my winged babies–Cookie-Bholu-Chikki–to keep me occupied in between my busy schedule. I also found myself a job, where I can work from home. And, it feels fantastic! Touchwood.

But, I will be honest. This horrid I-am-lonely-and-miserable feeling does spring upon me, sometimes, catching me unawares. But, I push it out of my mind. It is akin to moving mountains, but, you gotta do what you gotta do, lest you lose your mind! Then, I replace those depressing thoughts with some good thoughts, like, what post to write, what do I do about my artwork, or read a good book, or watch a movie.

It won’t be an easy journey, this dealing with loneliness. But, all it needs is to get pally with yourself. Love yourself, trust in yourself and your judgements and believe that you are no longer scared of being alone. If people do join you, good, and if they don’t, fine, as well!

Work on becoming independent–EMOTIONALLY INDEPENDENT–and you won’t need a person by your side, ever. Okay, sometimes you will, but you will also manage pretty well if you don’t find anyone there.

Wish you the best!

Love,

SHILPA…

P.S.

If you have had the worst experience being alone, if you dread those moments of solitude, talk things out, seek help, but don’t keep to yourself.

Take care,

Love,

SHILPA..

 

 

can you spend

Social media and our imperfect lives.

Social media and our imperfect lives.

Have you ever scrolled through Instagram or Facebook and gazed wistfully at the exquisite images people share, and wished secretly those were yours, that, that was your Life, your story? Come on, you can tell me. I won’t judge you, I promise.  I, too, have felt that way, to be frank. Yes, I did!  I am human.

Thankfully, though, those were fleeting moments and I returned to my world, my Life, and sent a “Thank you” heavenwards for whatever I had received–good, bad, ugly. For it may have been the ‘good’ that filled my life with joy, but it was the ‘ugly’ that taught me precious lessons, helped me grow as a person and realise the true meaning of Life!

So, yes, all of us do wish–knowingly or unknowingly, at some time or the other, when Life is full of shit–that our Life was like the others’–picture perfect.  But, when we do so, hardly ever do we dwell on the fact that Life is never picture perfect. Life, as in Real Life, is not what we see in those pictures people share. It is the ‘filters’ in our phones that make it perfect, for the world to gawk at and covet.

Real life is something that most of us seldom share with the world. Real life is just different; it’s all about stuff going wrong, family feuds, marriages collapsing, illnesses, loss of a job, misbehaved kids and utter chaos. Real Life is  bad hair days with grumpy moods and tearful eyes, all behind closed doors.

Real life is burnt food, spoilt drawings, poor writing, evil thoughts and ugly brawls with loved ones. Something almost none of us share about on social media, or in our blogs. That won’t get us any Likes, will it? On the contrary, that will expose the ugly underbelly of the world we live in, so it’s best kept secret!

Couple months back, I shared a post on hubby’s bi polar episode on my blog. The outpouring of love and respect I received for having shared such personal matter in public made me wish I hadn’t shared it, at all! That was really not what I wanted. People wondered how I could share such details of my life so “boldly”. They gushed about how “brave” I was to write about a dear one’s illness for the world to read about.

The thought that came to my mind as I read all the comments was, I shared the story because that was Life! There are so many others battling the illness and living in despair over all that goes wrong, but with no one to talk to, or lend a shoulder to cry on. I know, because, once upon a time, I used to be that person, hiding the facts of my life from friends and family, and at the same time craving to hear a story similar to mine, craving to feel less left-out.

I feel, it is only because we fear sharing our truth with the world, that the images we see on the screen and the stories we hear of others leave us wincing, discontented with what we have been dealt with. Don’t you think?

Each one of us on this planet has been handed a Life that is way different than the others, but at the same time, a lot similar than we care to know. Each one of us is sailing in the same leaky, shaky boat that threatens to capsize and sink to the bottom if we were to lose control even for a second. But, rarely do we admit the condition of our boat to the others.

Do you know what that results in? A deep and haunting fear that our Life is imperfect, full of shit, while those others out there, have been gifted the best kind of lives, ever. The kind of depression that gives rise to, can be tough to push out of our system, leaving us disturbed and tortured.

Why not put an end to it all? Why not accept that, yes, our Life is not what you see in these pictures on the social media, neither are our stories the “happy stories” we talk about. Why not also share some of the imperfect moments of our life with the world? No, not to gain sympathy, or applause for having handled it all with elan, but so that someone out there suffering from misery at seeing all the so-called “happiness” around, would feel less miserable.

So that there would be lesser sad souls around cursing their fates and wishing for better ones. So that there would be lesser discontentment and more understanding within people’s hearts. And, so that there would be more of love and care and less of hatred and disgust.

We all are a little broken from within. Let’s show our scars, too, once in a while. it will only make us more human, don’t you think?

What do you think? Can you share your imperfect moments with the world so that someone out there felt less lonely?

Do share your thoughts with me. Feel free!

Love,

SHILPA…

 

CAN WE SHARE OUR IMPERFECTIONS ON SOCIAL MEDIA?

 

Three quotes I live by.

Three quotes I live by.

Life teaches us stuff when we are least expecting it. And, it is at such times that quotes come to our rescue, to reassure us that this is, indeed, Life and it is best to accept it as it is, along with all of its idiosyncrasies. These words of wisdom give us light when we find ourselves in the dark, and show us the way forward.

There are some quotes that resonate with me, instantly, and make me realise a few truths about Life. Of course, every quote I read speaks to me, but, there are some that, I feel, are tailor-made for me, especially when I come across them at some specific juncture in Life.

Sharing today, three of those that are now a part of my daily self-talk that I give myself as the day begins. Well, two of them, actually. I am yet to inculcate the third one. I mean, it does make the rounds of my mind on a regular basis, but I am yet to give it the respect it deserves!

 

QUOTES TO LIVE BY

This is the number one quote on my list since some time now. For every time I slip back into the past or fast forward into the unknown future, these words echo in my mind and bring me back to the present–the present moment, the only moment we have with us.

We are forever losing ourselves in either the past or the future–revisiting some beautiful memories from the days gone by or planning for a future that’s really a mirage. Rarely do we make efforts to live in the here and the now–the present.

I realised how the amount of stress and anxiety reduced once I began practicing it, you know–living in the moment. Whatever happened in the past is dead and gone, and the future is still on the distant horizon, a moment that’s still to come. So, why not concentrate on this  moment and give it my very best?

Saves me a lot of heartache, time and energy, too.

 

NOTHING IS PERMANENT

Now, this is the number one fact of Life…of every aspect of Life. Nothing, however big or small, significant or insignificant, is constant in this Universe. Everything– from the seasons, to the days, to people, to feelings, to phases– is transitory, ever-changing.

Be it good, bad or ugly, if  it’s here today, it will be gone tomorrow! That’s the rule of our Universe, and the sooner we realise it and accept it, the better for us. Don’t you think?

So, let go! Let go of the grudges, the anger, the hatred, the bitterness, the fear and the anxiety. It’s really of no use to you; it only poisons the heart and wears you down.  At the same time, soak in the good moments, for some day they will be gone, too. And,  give your best during the difficult moments, for they are the ones that teach us so much about the world and about Life.

And, don’t stress. Whatever’s here today, won’t last. I promise.

 

EXPECT LESS.

Isn’t it true?

Actually, we all know and understand this one perfectly well, yet we invest all of our energy in creating a mountain of expectations from people, from Life, and then despair over everything that doesn’t turn out as we expect.

I came across this really cool quote on expectations..

“What screws up most in Life is the picture in our head of how it is supposed to be.”

This one is something I really need to work on. Really! In spite of knowing fully well that neither people nor situations will turn out the way I want them to, I hope against hope and look forward to stuff happening as per my imagination. And, then, when it doesn’t, I find myself crying in a corner.

Stupid me!

But it’s never too late to begin afresh and I can always turn over a new leaf, for I am a work in progress.

We all are!

So, starting today, I hope to expect less from others and more from myself, because I know my strengths, my limitations and my potential. Let’s see how soon I learn.

 

How about you? What are the quotes you live by? Do share.

 

Love,

SHILPA…

 

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Quotes for mental peace

 

 

5 posts I loved this month. June’18

5 posts I loved this month. June’18

This month onwards, I am introducing another segment at Metanoia, where I will share  posts I read that moved me, struck a chord, or even urged me to look at Life from a new perspective. It’s good, isn’t it, to have something ‘new’ in Life, every now and then? So, apart from From my bookshelf’, there’s going to be,‘Most loved posts of the month’.

That does not mean the rest of the posts I read aren’t enjoyable, or inspiring enough. But there are posts that really make me sit up as I reread the words that stir me the way  certain words do.  And, hence this post on some special posts!

So, without further ado, let’s get going, shall we?

1. The month began with a post from one of my favourite bloggers, and also a very dear friend, Shailaja Vishwanath. Yes, she finds umpteen mentions at Metanoia! Shailaja, do take a bow if you are reading this, my dear!

So, she published a post that grabbed me, instantly. Why? Because the feelings she described in the post mirrored mine.

That feeling of being insignificant, a ‘loser’ and being jealous of the world around as it gallops ahead, successfully; surpasses you as you trudge along, despite all the effort you put in. That feeling of being left behind in the race, and being too consumed with jealousy as you watch all the others succeeding in every venture they undertake.

However, this feeling was not what the post was all about. It was all about a little word that I came across, that changed the way I treated this very feeling. A word that made me realise I needed to give my thinking a much-needed makeover!

FIRGUN. A Hebrew word…umm…well, let me share with you the link so you can learn all about it, yourself!

Firgun: A beautiful quality

Every word this woman chooses is akin to a jeweller choosing the perfect gems to create an exquisite ornament! Okay, let me not spoil it for you with my metaphors! Do go, read it. I am sure you will change the way you think and feel, not just about Life, but also about success and failure.

2. The next post comes from another dear friend of mine, Sunita Rajwade .It came during the week that brought with it a lot of sadness for many a soul amidst us. The passing of two celebrities: Anthony Bourdain and Kate Spade. The news of their suicides shocked the world, leaving many broken hearted. That week, when the spotlight was on SUICIDE, and, what makes people take the extreme step.

It’s a post in memory of her dear friend who succumbed to depression–the demon that swallows up a person, leaving him helpless and without a thread of hope to hold on to.

When recent celebrity suicides trigger deep seated dark memories

Sunita’s posts are also very well articulated. The way she expresses her mind, her thoughts..makes me wish I could write like she does! Classy is the word that I would use to describe her writing.

3. The next post I liked is from Suzie, of Suzie Speaks.  It’s a post all of us bloggers will find extremely useful. Why? Because it teaches us how to create images with pictures clicked at our home, with simple props that we could buy at our local market, or even find at home!

A post that will help us give that personal touch to our images and a shine to our posts!

How to create flat lay images using basic props

Do visit her. I am sure you will love her blog, as well as the posts she brings for her readers!

4. I am all for motivational quotes. Metanoia is primarily a health and wellness blog, but Inspirational-Motivational is its second most important segment.

It’s the words in a quote that can add sunshine to your world. We wake up each day, thinking, planning, or even dreading the moments that lie before us, for each of us goes through stuff that has the potential to leave us either overwhelmed or completely broken.

And, it’s at the period when we are at our lowest that we need words to lift our morale, put a smile on our face and a little hope in our heart. Hope, that all’s not over!

Soumya Prasad begins her day with a motivational quote on her Instagram account. Do visit her.  I visit her just for the quotes she shares, for many a time it’s her quotes that put back the faith in my heart and the confidence in my spirits. And, I am quite in awe of her for being candid about her feelings and her opinions about the world and its citizens, too! 😛

Why daily motivation helps.

Do visit her. I am sure you will love the way she expresses her thoughts–fearlessly! I so wish I could be even 30% like her!

5. And, the last post that is also very inspirational in nature comes from another dear friend of mine-Esha Mookerjee Dutta.

Esha is a Literature student and her writing is like poetry for the soul! Oh god, I get blown away each time I read her words! Another blogger I wish to emulate, Esha’s post comes from the experiences Life gave her…is giving her. And, the topic is something that so resonated with me. Having been through some tough times and emerging strand saner, we both learned quite a lot.

It’s only during the tough phases that we learn some very useful lessons, isn’t it? There’s no other way God would ever teach us stuff about Life, would He?

What adversity has taught me

Do visit her, too. I am sure you will come back enlightened!

I mean every word, Esha! ❤

 

So, that’s my list of awesome posts from June. I hope you all like these. Not just like, but also find them inspiring, moving and informative, too! Do leave your views in the comments section. Would love to hear from you!

 

Love,

SHILPA..

 

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Posts that inspire

10 quotes from Grey’s Anatomy.

10 quotes from Grey’s Anatomy.

Grey’s Anatomy. Meredith Grey and her colleagues made the medical drama series quite a hit on TV. I hardly followed the medical jargon, but I quite enjoyed watching the series.

I still remember some of those episodes–some with dread, some with fondness. But, most of all, I remember the characters, and most importantly, their thoughts that ran through their minds as they went about healing souls and saving lives.

Back then, I didn’t think of writing the words down, not that I could have, being so engrossed as I was in the drama that unfolded in front of my eyes. But, now, thanks to Google, I can relive some of those ‘thoughtful moments’.

Sharing with you today, some of the quotes that resonate with me; some that make me smile at their universal nature and some that inspire me in ways only certain words can.

My favourite quotes from Grey’s Anatomy:

This one is a personal favourite.

 

Quotes

 

Aren’t these words so very inspiring?

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Do we pause to think the reason people do what they do?

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Coz’ sweetheart, if you wait for someone to come, rescue you, believe me, you will keep waiting, all your Life!

 

 

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Having loved and lost is better than not having loved, at all!

 

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So, what are you scared to lose?

 

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People are wonderful creatures!

 

 

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Never, ever, give up hope!

 

Do you watch Grey’s Anatomy? I am sure many of you do. Do you have any personal favourite quotes from the series? Do share!

Love,

SHILPA…

 

My favourite quotesfrom'Grey's Anatomy'