When the Blues strike.

When the Blues strike.

The dreaded feeling of worthlessness creeps in, unannounced.

One day you are bursting with excitement for all that you have planned for yourself; your self-confidence at its peak. You are convinced of being on the right track; you know you can make it! So what if you have been a tad late in joining the race? You will definitely reach the finishing line soon! You feel the energy permeate  your entire being.

And, just when you begin looking forward to the bright future you envisioned for yourself, your inner voice nudges you. “Do you really think you have it in you to achieve it all?” it asks, sarcasm dripping through every word.

It shakes you to the core leaving you unsettled.  Where did that come from? you wonder.  Whose voice is it, anyway?

It taunts you for the foresight you think you have been gifted, and sniggers at the confidence you feel within.

“Do you really think you can make it? You are in your 40s, for heaven’s sake! You should have “made it”  long ago, you slow coach!” it jeers. And, before you know it, there’s a torrent of such jibes that stop at nothing.

You strive to ignore that voice, those taunts, and hold on tight to the wisdom about  positivity you soak in all the time. But to no avail.

The hopelessness seems to have taken over you so much so, you find yourself fighting to breathe.

Where did all that positivity vanish? What happened to your self-confidence that was urging you to just go for your dreams? You grope in the dark for a  way out of this abyss. But, sadly, you find none.

You flail to keep yourself from getting drowned. But, your anguish pulls you down with it.

It  doesn’t take the despondency long to overtake you completely, leaving you with a broken heart and shattered dreams. It slowly dawns on you how naive you were, grasping at straws, hoping against hope of carving out a name for yourself.

How did you even imagine you could achieve what you couldn’t all these years? How could you be so stupid not to notice your worthlessness?

And, the downward spiral begins.

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Ironical, isn’t it, this being an inspirational-motivational blog? But, sometimes you need to  give voice to those feelings of hopelessness that threaten to disturb your peace of mind. And, who better than your blog to pour out your feelings to?

I hope I can fight my way out of this soon!

 

Battling the blues.

The Real Heroes.

The Real Heroes.

                                                                                                                                                                            A few days ago, Bombay Times carried an interview of  the Indian rapper Yo Yo Honey Singh. It was a tell-all about his disappearance from the public glare for around 18 months; a period  during which he battled a very frightening        monster called Bi-polar Disorder.The state of mind he described reminded me of what I have seen a dear one go through.  A person very close to me suffers from the  illness, and I have been a witness to the struggle – his and ours.

 

We had never heard the name, or known someone who suffered from the illness.   So,  it was akin to solving a jigsaw puzzle where the pieces just wouldn’t fit!  Our psychiatrist did explain it in detail and so did my counsellor, but, ultimately, we were on our own.  We didn’t have anyone coming up to offer solace, or assure us that this wasn’t the end. 

At times, as I sat in the hospital lounge, I would look around trying to find someone who was in a similar predicament as I; on whose shoulder I could cry and from whom I could hear some words  of hope. But, alas, I found none! It happens to be an illness – like every other mental illness – which people would rather conceal from outsiders.

There aren’t any visible symptoms for the world to make out any difference in the patient. And, divulging such information might lead to who-knows-what!  Finding oneself all alone at such a juncture in life can be devastating, to say the least.

Coming back to Mr. Honey Singh, I know the amount of  courage it takes to reveal such private (and delicate) information to the world, especially,  if one belongs to the glamorous world of films and music. I can only imagine the number of people in this glitzy world, who may be actually suffering from this, or some other illness, but who lack the courage to come out and speak about their travails!

The dark periods of the mind-boggling highs and lows that one goes through thanks to bi-polar, can be unnerving. And, if one belongs to such a  world, where one is always portrayed as an epitome of perfection, then revealing such facts could be detrimental to not only their image, but also to their career. But, here is Honey Singh, who has admitted to the world the truth about his life and come out a winner in many ways!

Some time ago,  Deepika Padukone   revealed the bout of depression that she had been through. The hopelessness and the despair she spoke about, made her a hero to many a sufferer in our midst. An actress of her calibre, coming all out about such a delicate issue was a brave decision indeed! And, now we hear about Honey Singh’s struggle with bi-polar disorder.

Unsurprisingly, these are  only two such  brave-hearts, who have opened up their wounds for the world to see;  people, who are otherwise expected to be flawless entities!

However, as opposed to the denizens of our Indian film industry, the stars of Hollywood seem to have no such inhibitions in speaking about the trials they suffer, vis-a-vis their health issues. We know a greater number of Hollywood actors who suffer from bi-polar disorder or depression than we do of our Bollywood actors.

Maybe, over there they are treated like normal human beings, whilst our actors are revered as gods!  Why isn’t it accepted that these are  illnesses that could strike anybody,  irrespective of social standing, religion or gender?  Why don’t we all – including our screen idols – accept that they are, after all, mere mortals, who are prone to maladies of any and every kind?  Why don’t we  just accept it and live, and let live?

I think the fact that we deify them is the reason they fear coming out of the closets they hide their imperfections in. Wouldn’t their acceptance of themselves, and openness about their problems make them more real  to us? 

The confessions these two  brave hearts made may actually give strength to many a troubled soul who suffer behind closed doors, away from  prying eyes. Frankly, I have no knowledge about the kind of music he makes, but, Honey Singh’s  story of  the battle he has fought could surely motivate others like him.  And, so could Deepika’s story – she, who reigns the box-office today!

We all need heroes in our lives, to look up to, to draw inspiration from. And, who better than those who have the guts to reveal their true selves,  their trials and tribulations, like Dipika and Honey Singh? They would definitely make better heroes than those who flaunt attributes which are as artificial as the smiles that adorn their faces on the giant posters along the streets!

If the stories of these two  exceptional beings are able to inspire even a handful few,  it would be an achievement in the truest sense for these celebrities, isn’t it?

A big ‘Thank you’ to you, Deepika and Honey Singh!  May your tribe increase!